Warning: this article contains references to suicide.

The case of: I want a good death under the oak in my garden

Clare Turner, 59, Devon

I want a good death under the oak tree in my backyard, with my daughters playing guitar and people chatting in the background. I want to look at the tree, see birds and insects and feel part of nature.

I live on a farm in Devon where the sunflowers are currently blackened by winter and hanging in a field where birds feast on their oily seeds. Next year’s vegetables lie dormant in the ground – everything that lives eventually dies.

Finding out I had stage four cancer was a shock, but I found acceptance. I hope that my energy, my “clarity,” will be released into the natural world to mingle with all those who came before me and all living beings who came before me.

When I first told my daughters about my illness, Chloe, my eldest, was terrified of the type of death I would suffer. She works in a hospital and really wants people to be able to benefit from medical assistance in dying. My other daughter, Izzy, also fully supports her.

I did a survey of friends. One of them is absolutely opposed to it because of his religious beliefs, but others are mostly in favor of medical assistance in dying.

My grandfather, Arthur Turner, was an activist who, late in his life, fought for safe and affordable housing. I don’t have the energy to fight because of my cancer, but I wanted to speak out now because it means a lot to me.

I find it extraordinary that under our current laws, if we allowed one of the animals on this farm to suffer, a farmer would be prosecuted.

But medical assistance in dying is not just about avoiding suffering. I was a counselor for teenagers going through grief. There is a difference between the normal, natural process of dying and situations in which people are traumatized by the way it occurs. It affects the brain in a different way.

My oncologist told me that without chemotherapy I had months to live. I’m just waiting for my daughter to go to college, but I don’t plan on dragging it out every second. If the law doesn’t change, I plan to commit suicide.

I wouldn’t want to cause trouble to anyone, so I would choose to die alone. I don’t think I deserve this. I would be at home, but the idea of ​​being surrounded by loved ones and nature and then comparing that to loneliness… I find it sad.

The arguments against: “Death is not like a video game in which you reappear”

Philip, Midlands.

I want to live until God wants me to die. He’ll fix this, not me. I have no idea how this is going to happen and I don’t want to know.

This world is temporary and I have a better one to come. I have pancreatic cancer which affects not only my pancreas, but also my lungs. When we were told that I had less than six months to live, my wife Pauline couldn’t stop crying. Sitting in the hospital, we sang praises to God. It’s been five months now and I’m grateful for this time.

I don’t think people realize that death is a one-way journey. It’s not like the games kids have on their consoles where you get killed and then respawn.

These days, it seems like people are talking more openly about suicide. Thirty-five years ago, one of my neighbors had lymphoma cancer and had six months to live. He is now 67 years old – imagine if he had committed suicide back then.

When I was 15, my mother died slowly and painfully of breast cancer. I would sit by her bed and pretend to wipe the rats off her chest because she thought they were eating her breasts. Two days before she died, she prayed, “God, I want you to heal me or take me.” She died naturally, with dignity.

Since then, medical science has evolved. There is no reason why a person with cancer should die in excruciating pain. Doctors can manage pain, but the biggest problem is the lack of end-of-life or palliative care services. I’ve paid taxes my whole life, so I see no reason why this care shouldn’t be available to me.

We all sympathize with those who want medical assistance in dying, but if the law is allowed to be changed for just a few people, it will soon become broader and include more people.

We can see this in Canada and the Netherlands, where it started only for the terminally ill and now there is talk of allowing it for people with mental illness, children and even the homeless .

We are therefore beginning to have a society in which the value of life is diminished, where the State decides who has had enough. It’s terrible. This is not the kind of society I want to live in or leave behind.

Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email [email protected] in the UK. In the United States, call your local Samaritans branch or 1 (800) 273-TALK