If you liked The Golden Bachelor/Bacheloretteto try The latest daters (debuting on Netflix November 29), the documentary series produced by Michelle Obama, 60. It’s smarter, gentler and emotionally deeper than ABC’s hit, and instead of competing with each other, the show’s six men and women, ranging in age from 56 to 71, star. , have a coach teach them how to cope with a series of blind dates and become better daters. The coach is psychologist Logan Ury, author of How Not to Die Alone: ​​The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love and director of relationship science at dating app Hinge.

AARP spoke with Ury and two of the Later Daters, marketing executive Anise Mastin, 63, and optometrist Suzanne Doty, 64, to discover the secrets to romantic happiness. (And if you want Ury’s advice for yourself, discover your “blind spots” by taking a quiz on his website. (loganury.com/quiz)

First things first: is sex better or worse for older people?

Ury: There’s some really interesting research from Match Group who did a survey on this. The study found that older people report having more fulfilling sexual relationships, are more knowledgeable about their bodies and are more able to ask for what they want. And there are fewer fake orgasms.

How Later daters compare to The Golden Bachelor/Bachelorette?

Suzanne: This show is very different. There is no competition. It’s about six baby boomers struggling in the dating world.

Anise: It’s more realistic. They took the time to get to know us, our families and our confidants. On The Golden Bachelorthey have to go through every rose ceremony. He’s a Harvard (Ury) trained behavioral specialist who helps every golden person become better daters. So whatever I do for the rest of my life has more impact for me, rather than being rejected or not getting the rose (laughs).

Logan Ury in “The Later Daters”

Courtesy of Netflix

Logan, you lead Google’s behavioral science team: what is your philosophy on the science of love?

Ury: The idea of ​​going out like a scientist. Being open to exploration, to experimenting, understanding that the type of person you usually date may not be the one who makes you happy. Be willing to date someone who doesn’t match your type. Be interested, not interesting – ask questions, be curious.

That was your sage advice to late-life, energetic Pam Stephens, 71, whose first husband was Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Steve Marriott of Small Faces and Humble Pie. She comes from a performance background and we watch her learn how to be a receptive audience on a date, as well as a star.

Ury: It’s something that makes people actually like you, instead of feeling like they have to play and be interesting.