We’ve all seen it: loved ones you’ve had deep connections with for decades suddenly get a scowl on their face when they see you.

People choose to end their association with you based on your political affiliation.

Too many of us, myself included, have had relationships, even with loved ones, torn because of our political positions.

Yet some people end up looking for a path to reunification. This Thanksgiving, you might be faced with such a person at the table and not know how approach to resolving your fractured relationship.

Can we – should we – forgive them for breaking our hearts?

It’s definitely worth a try.

Certainly, it’s not just about the fact that they ended the relationship, but also about how and why.

They may have acted like petulant children, slandered our reputation, presented us as closed-minded monsters while refusing to listen OUR political perspectives.

They may have seemed happy to burn bridges, grinning like sinister arsonists as our relationships dissolved into a cloud of black smoke.

You want to give thanks for what you have at Thanksgiving, but it’s difficult when you’re totally aware of what you’ve lost.

Forgiveness is perhaps the most difficult virtue.

It seems antithetical to give grace to someone you’re nurturing doesn’t deserve it – but the instinct to stay angry only eats away at the soul.

If you stay angry at old friends or family over stupid political disagreements, you will end up hurting yourself and them.

This is because forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves. It is a way of letting go of blind anger and grievances.

Forgiveness provides the opportunity to stand virtuously instead of remaining held back by hatred.

Also consider that we often focus on how we were hurt, while forgetting that we may have also been the perpetrators of the pain. And maybe someone in your life has forgiven You for your sinful actions.

How can you be truly grateful for the grace given to you if you don’t do the same for others?

The COVID madness and hysterical anti-Trump propaganda have elevated emotions. Many felt compelled to reevaluate their relationships with family and friends with opposing views.

I tried to see things from their point of view: if several sources I trusted told me daily that a man is beyond evil, if his every action was constantly presented as that of a second Hitler, I too might question his motives. from those who support him, even people who are otherwise close to you.

While I don’t agree with these people, I sympathize with the many Americans who have been the subject of malicious propaganda and pushed their emotional buttons for power or profit.

But the truth is that we don’t need a president or other politician to make a call for unity: we have the power to do it ourselves.

It begins with offering forgiveness – and also asking to be forgiven.

As a Christian, I am reminded of Luke 23:34, when Jesus spoke the words, “Father, forgive them; because they don’t know what they are doing.

If Jesus can express a willingness to forgive the people who executed him, then I can forgive friends who rejected me for questioning traditional COVID narratives, or who reported me for voting for a man they hated and feared.

Thanksgiving is the perfect time to do it.

This is a time to give thanks for our blessings but also to reflect on how we treat each other.

The political climate has been extremely toxic in recent years, so why not take advantage of this vacation to analyze ours contribution to the collapse of our country’s discourse?

And perhaps those you forgive will in turn forgive you for rejecting their concerns for the country and not giving them a break, for example, how stressed they were during the pandemic.

There is nothing beneficial about holding on to that hurt – and there is something wonderful about letting it go.

This Thanksgiving, give yourself this gift.

Adam B. Coleman is the author of “Black Victim to Black Victor” and founder of Wrong Speak Publishing.