DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We broke up for a while, but got back together and everything is going great, and we got engaged six months ago. Last week we had a huge argument, where all my pent up resentment came out. I’ve tried to communicate my needs, but even if he changes briefly, things always come back to the same thing.

We are supposed to get married in nine months at his parents’ house, but after the argument, thinking we were done, he told them all our problems. Now they want us to postpone the wedding, saying we are unstable. I had no problem with his parents before this. They loved me. I’m furious that he ran to them instead of working things out with me. I feel like he did us a huge disservice by chatting with his parents.

I’ve been asking for couples counseling for months and he’s always refused – until now. I’m not sure I want to marry him anymore. I feel like his parents crossed a boundary, and so did he. What should I do? — HOLDING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HOLDING: Be glad this happened. Your relationship with your fiancé IS “unstable.” You now know that when things get difficult, he will run to his parents rather than try to work things out with you.

If it’s a problem and you no longer want to marry him, tell him it’s over. HOWEVER, if you think counseling might help you communicate better, follow “her suggestion” and get a referral to a licensed professional who can give you premarital counseling. It’s an investment that could pay off in many ways.