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11 Subtle Habits of People Others Can’t Stop Thinking About, According to Psychology

Pabio December 22, 2024

I often talk about how self-focus leads to misery. But good things happen when we know how to impress others. We live in a social world. We build personal brands. And when we have value to share, the world benefits from knowing and remembering who we are. As Lin Manuel Miranda Rapped Alexander Hamilton Hamilton“The world will know your name.”

Over the years, I’ve learned habits that have helped me become a person no one ever forgets – in a good way, of course – and now I want to share the secrets to staying memorable in people’s brains , even if you just did it. meet them once.

Here’s what they get most wrong: They’re trying to be memorable with big moves. But the truly unforgettable? They master the subtle habits that stick. Think about it: the ones you can’t stop thinking about: are they the loudest? Or the ones that make you feel like there’s always another layer to discover? Practice these habits today and watch how people respond.

Here are eleven subtle habits of people that others can’t help but think about:

1. They create intrigue

man and woman talking fauxels / Pexels

Stop revealing everything. Create intrigue by sharing 90% and letting others determine the remaining 10%. Most people hide or reveal everything. The most memorable ones arouse people’s curiosity.

2. They are not always available

man and woman on a boat Matheus Bertelli / Pexels

Responding to every text message within two seconds is good if you’re a service business, but not to reinforce the idea that you’re rare. Like diamonds, rarity = value. Create a life with a mission instead.

3. They can read a room and respond accordingly

friends talking while eating pizza Diva Plavalaguna / Pexels

While Jake and Nancy are nodding like scared donkeys, you’re out here enjoying the whole vibe. We communicate beyond words. Develop this part of you to understand what is happening with people. They will feel your insane talent in return.

According to a 2014 studyActive listening promotes the feeling of being heard and understood, builds confidence and allows for a better understanding of the speaker’s message. This in turn leads to more positive interactions and stronger relationships.

4. They are not bothered by trivialities

smiling woman Vinicius Wiesehofer / Pexels

As humans, we are ridiculously emotional and rather chaotic beings. It’s cool. It makes us beautifully human. But it can also embarrass us and alienate us from each other. Be the cool cat in the storm. This is rare and will inspire everyone you meet.

Nick Wignall, psychologistrecommends that everyone take the time “to cultivate a healthier intuition about their emotions.” We are conditioned to avoid anything that we know will harm us. However, there is power in taking the time to “understand and respect our emotions,” and that may be what people remember most.

“If you want to be more emotionally intuitive, get in the habit of listening to all of your emotions, but not trusting any of them,” Wignall advised. “When faced with a difficult emotional situation, use your head. And when in doubt, ask yourself: does this emotion match my values?

5. They have unprecedented empathy

group of people on their laptops Athena Sandrini / Pexels

While most are constantly shouting at themselves, you are there to create space so they can speak and be heard. Be different.

6. They spend more time listening than talking

group of people sitting and talking fauxels / Pexels

This doesn’t necessarily mean staying quiet, but if you’re the cat who talks a lot less, you stand out from the crowd. Most people compete to tell their entire life story to anyone with the ability to listen. Not you. It’s mysterious.

Results of a 2023 study indicate that people often mistakenly believe that they should talk less in conversations to be liked. However, speaking moderately is generally viewed more favorably. Some studies even suggest that talking more can lead to being better liked in new interactions; This misconception is sometimes called reluctance bias.

7. They don’t overstay their welcome

subtle habit of people that others can't help but think don't overstay their welcome Victoria Labadie | Shutterstock

You can do this with grace. It’s like turning away from a kiss. Be strategic and go out when the energy is still high. Most people remain healthy after a time when the air is thick with wasted energy and the high humidity of wagging tongues.

8. They know how to tell stories when talking to people

women sitting next to the window and talking Christina Morillo / Pexels

This means painting a picture rather than telling it straight away. While others say: “social media is poison”, you tell them how you deleted instagram and I slept better than I have in years.

9. They think before they speak

subtle habit of people that others can't help but think about, think before you speak sparkling | Shutterstock

Get into the habit of waiting a few seconds after someone has spoken. You are not in a hurry. Not to be rude, but because you love life and take your time. When you speak, your slow approach makes each word resonate vividly.

Author and editor NyRee Ausler advised that responding more slowly means “paying attention and actively listening when another person is speaking.” This means that what you are about to say is well thought out and meaningful.”

Ausler continued: “If you want to communicate effectively, it’s a good idea to make sure your word choice and body language convey the message you want to convey. When we fail to think before we speak, our Responses can be emotional, causing pain and damaging relationships. We can also talk ourselves out of opportunities and resources or serious problems.

Also remember that your body language supports the message you want the other person to receive.

10. They make others feel like main characters

women in coats talking to each other August de Richelieu / Pexels

Put your energy to make those you meet feel important. It doesn’t have to be a chore. Have fun with it. This instantly shifts your focus from yourself, which is fear-based, to making others feel good. This will stimulate your curiosity about others and will be felt for weeks.

11. Their energy is playful and unpredictable

group of friends outside talking Hélène Lopes / Pexels

And this? Change your energy at unexpected times. When everyone is excited, you shut up. When the room is serious, you inject heat. Not randomly – intentionally.

Incorporating uncertainty and unexpected elements into play can promote cognitive development, encourage exploration and improve learning, especially in children. A 2023 study also explored the potential downsides of excessive unpredictability, such as increased anxiety or stress, depending on the individual and context. These concepts are often examined through “risky play” and “loose parts” in game environments, where elements can be manipulated and rearranged to introduce variability.

Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a lucrative personal brand through your knowledge and skills while remaining mentally resilient.

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11 Subtle Habits of People Others Can’t Stop Thinking About, According to Psychology