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Family gatherings can cause “emotional hangovers”; How to recover
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Family gatherings can cause “emotional hangovers”; How to recover

  • Being with family during the holidays can be stressful.
  • Afterwards, you might feel the same as when you have a hangover, even if you haven’t been drinking.
  • Here’s how to deal with the effects of an “emotional hangover.”

That you are disagreement over politics or avoiding questions about why you gained or lost weight, sitting through a family gathering can feel like you’re dealing with a tinderbox of emotions. Then you wake up the next day with nausea or a bad headache.

All the signs point to a hangover, except you haven’t been drinking alcohol. Instead, your unpleasant symptoms could be due to an “emotional hangover,” which refers to the “feeling of physical and emotional exhaustion that follows an intense emotional situation,” Charlynn Ruan, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and founder of Thrive Psychology Grouptold Business Insider.

When you have a conflict or negative interaction with someone, “your nervous system is flooded with adrenaline and cortisol, and you can enter a state of fight, flight, or freeze, which helps you cope threats and challenges,” she added. Following an intense emotional experience, you may develop symptoms such as exhaustion, headaches and brain fog.

Although an emotional hangover is not a clinical diagnosis, nausea and fatigue may resemble the effects of consume alcohol. Below, two psychologists explain what makes you vulnerable to an emotional hangover and how to recover from a tense family reunion.

What situations can trigger an emotional hangover?

Strong emotions like fear and anger can trigger the body’s natural response. stress response. “Once stress is alleviated, the body can experience a ‘crash,’ leading to fatigue, nausea, headaches, irritability, and muscle pain.” Harris StratynerPh.D., a psychologist based in New York, told Business Insider.

Ruan explained that any situation that triggers a fight, flight, or freeze response can lead to an emotional hangover. For example, you might feel exhausted or disoriented after having a heated argument with your partner, after negotiating a conflict between loved ones, or after returning to a house or town that reminds you of traumatic childhood events.

As a result, emotional hangover triggers may be linked to unresolved childhood trauma or current conflicts, Ruan said. “If you’ve done something you regret, guilt can linger and create a feeling of emotional exhaustion,” Stratyner said.

Other reasons you might experience an emotional hangover include failing in front of others, receiving upsetting news, taking on too many responsibilities at work or home, or the end of a relationship. Stratyner said. The more invested you are in a relationship, the greater your emotional distress may be.

In addition uncomfortable family dynamicsnoise, large crowds and traveling can increase your distress. The holidays also bring added pressures, like overextending yourself financially or being around family members you might otherwise choose to avoid during the year.

What makes you vulnerable to an emotional hangover?

Certain tendencies and personality traits can make you vulnerable to an emotional hangover. “People who are high in the personality trait may have difficulty saying no to strenuous activities or cortisol spikes, even if conflict is occurring between other people and does not concern them,” Ruan said.

Stratyner said a high level of neuroticism can make you more reactive to emotional stressors, making it harder to recover from stressful experiences. The same goes for low self-esteem since you are more likely to internalize criticism and struggle with feelings of inadequacy.

Stratyner said people who describe themselves as introverted or highly sensitive may also experience deeper emotional fatigue after straining social interactions. They might also be more likely to ruminate on past events and dwell on negative feelings.

To please people “They often suppress their emotions to avoid conflict and keep others happy,” Stratyner said. When you can’t please everyone or need to assert yourself, you might feel conflicted and exhausted, leading to an emotional hangover.

Much like people pleasers, perfectionists may experience disappointment or shame if they fail to meet their high standards. Additionally, “those with an anxious attachment style are more likely to worry about social interactions and perceive threats to your relationships, even when none exist,” Ruan said.

How to recover from an emotional hangover?

One way to prevent an emotional hangover is to engage in calming activities. For example, you can write down what you are grateful for, spend time outsideor take a break from the news or social media, Stratyner said.

Before attending a family gathering that might be triggering or overwhelming, Ruan suggested taking time to see friends, book a session with your therapist, go for a run, or take up a hobby relaxing. She also recommended reaching out to supportive family members and discussing how you can help each other or intervene in case you get caught in a stressful conversation.

If you’re suffering from an emotional hangover, there are ways to speed up the recovery process. Since your nervous system is exhausted, it is important to recharge your batteries while restingcatch up on sleep, take a bath or listen to music.

“Be with friends and family who feel safe and loving, so your nervous system stops releasing cortisol and adrenaline and starts producing oxytocin and serotonin, which help regulate your mood,” Ruan said. Additionally, Stratyner recommends small gestures like sending a thoughtful message or volunteering, which can give you a sense of purpose or positivity.

“If you’re feeling nervous or agitated, you may need to engage in a high-energy activity to burn off built-up hormones and signal to your body that the threat is over,” Ruan said. Activities like boxing, running and weightlifting can provide a healthy outlet to relieve stress and help you recover from an emotional hangover.