College professors increasingly report that adult students often come to their offices demanding undeserved passing grades, often accompanied by their parents. Other signs of this trend are emerging: in 2023, 28% of European toy manufacturers sales came from adults purchasing toys for themselvesand companies like Lego, aware of this demographic growth, now dedicate more than a sixth of their creations to adult consumers.

Psychologists also warn that many relationships collapse in the face of conflict, with the couple choosing to separate before trying to find a solution. This immaturity is reflected in election campaigns, where almost every politician engages in the latest TikTok challenges. Additionally, superhero films increasingly feature simplistic plots, and even criminals have begun to exhibit temperamental adolescent behavior, leaving old mafia bosses, like Tony Soprano of The Sopranosyearning for the more reliable codes of the past.

According to Keith J. Hayward, professor of criminology at the University of Copenhagen, society is increasingly infantilized. In his latest book Infantilized: how our culture has killed adulthood, Hayward argues that mass culture and modern lifestyle push a significant portion of the adult population to adopt behaviors and mindsets that were once reserved for children. This change is not characterized by the innocence or charm often associated with childhood; rather it reflects the worst traits of childhood: selfishness, narcissismindiscipline, disconnection from reality and inability to control frustration.

In this regard, Hayward’s book aligns with the work of other conservative thinkers, such as self-help author Jordan Peterson and Spanish philosopher Jorge Freire, who in Become who you areproposed a “code of morality” to help individuals become workers by circumventing the pitfalls of contemporary society. Like them, Hayward draws up a long list of good practices aimed at avoiding infantilization. However, he takes a more in-depth approach, providing a detailed examination of the institutions he believes are succumbing to this trend – from parliaments to academia – and its impact on everyday life.

Of course, criticism of “grown men” playing with dolls is nothing new. Long before Funko Pops became a sensation, columnists like Rupert Myers, write for The guardianexpressed concern about the popularity of plastic figurines based on television series. He explained: A dose of escapism in adult life isn’t a bad thing, but one of the most defining elements of adulthood is that our adult imaginations don’t need physical toys. “We don’t need to fit shapes through holes, or weave with looms, because we have developed a sophisticated adult culture around words, music, movement and images.”

This criticism extends beyond dolls (or video games with colorful aesthetics, like those produced by Nintendo). In many online spaces – particularly on masculinized forums like Reddit or certain X-rated environments – masculinity is often reduced to two archetypes: progressive Funko collectorrepresenting a modern version of the classic geek and the individual who rejects infantilization, perceiving himself as an ascetic or stoic. Often the latter group unknowingly embody traits associated with the old geek culture of the 1990s.

These two poles reflect caricatures of the way we perceive and organize the world, both digital and analog. As more and more men engage in playful activities, one might wonder whether critics of infantilization are simply nostalgic or are genuinely concerned about a deeper problem. With many young men aspiring to become “Mediterranean warriors” through rigorous gym routines and countless others devoting their free time to online gaming, collecting and chatting on forums, it begs the question : is this a reflection of a failure of society or simply a question of consumer choice? Furthermore, could it be that these seemingly opposing groups share a common trait: an inability to take charge of their current situation?

What does it mean to be a man?

The question of what it means to be a man and how he should behave is not new; it has been a pervasive theme in our culture for generations. However, it began to be bred in the same way as today at the beginning of the 20th century. In classic novels like that of Joseph Roth The Radetzky Marchcharacters emerged who withstood the pressures of adulthood.

A few decades later, in the counterculture era, questions around what it means to be a man became even more explicit. For example, in 1966, The Who asked the question “What makes a man a man?” in their song Tattoo. In 1982, openly gay singer Joe Jackson further complicated the discussion with his song real men.

So while the question has remained the same, what has changed over the past decade are the possible answers and, more importantly, how those answers are formed. After centuries of domination, the male and heterosexual gaze is no longer the sole architect of masculinity.

“What intensifies the question of masculine identity and provokes feelings of unease or uncertainty is the influence of the feminist and LGBTQ+ movements,” explains filmmaker and theorist Gala Hernández. “When feminist women question what it means to be a woman – following Beauvoir’s assertion that “one is not born, but one becomes one” – this triggers a process of negative definition that redraws cultural boundaries and triggers similar introspection in men. »

She continues: “This change forces men, voluntarily or not, to undertake their own process of deconstruction. Even if some resist and refuse, masculinity, long accepted as a universal and naturalized norm, is now called into question. In other words, we also become a man, it’s not obvious.

In his book The feminist Killjoywriter and activist Sara Ahmed urges feminists to question everything from cultural norms to everyday jokes. This approach is adopted in various areas, causing discomfort for many men, according to Antonio J. Rodríguez, author of The new masculinity of all time. “We are witnessing a crisis in masculine society, but not necessarily a crisis in masculinity itself. What are feminisms, if not a critique of male privileges? It’s like we’re in shock from a boxing blow,” he says.

Hernández says this process can “eventually crystallize reactionary masculinist movements who seem to seek to eliminate these uncomfortable questions at all costs. Yet these changes also create opportunities for those who choose to navigate this process differently or adapt to the changes unfolding around them.

Ascetics and whiners

In one of her remarkable cultural analysis videos, critic Estela Ortiz looks at the “frat culture” of the 2000s. Using examples like American pie, Fight cluband the music of Blink-182 and Avril Lavigne, Ortiz uncovers mainstream content from a time when it was not only accepted but popular to “hate women and act like a high school bully.”

This era likely contributed to a significant portion of modern misogyny and the tendency toward infantilization. These cultural staples, including shows like Donkey – which, as Hayward notes, “seem to have been made by preteens and cultivate apathetic viewers happy to avoid everything that comes with adult life” – played a role in shaping the attitudes that persist today .

Rodríguez disagrees with this argument and believes that a person’s taste in movies and movies is “irrelevant” in determining whether they are infantilized. “An infantile adult,” he said, “is one who is disconnected from the responsibilities of adulthood, and in a world like ours, such disconnection is not easily achieved. »

Material conditions are crucial, however, Rodríguez believes, as demonstrated by the ongoing protests against the high cost of housing. For certain generations, youth is not a choice but a necessity imposed by economic constraints. “In big cities, we see that, without help, no one can hope to raise the level down payment on a houseand also that no one has time to see their friends,” he explains. But, Rodríguez adds, a decent job will allow a person to travel, buy gadgets and spend money on the “culture of indulgence”: “However, even if you gave it up, you still wouldn’t be able to not live like an adult. from the 1960s.”

More than preferences, behaviors or cultural choices, it is stagnant wages and the current cost of living that infantilize young adults, forcing many of them to live with their parents until their thirties. In this economic landscape, associated with a “crisis of masculinity,” it is not surprising to see escapist trends such as infantilization and its counterpart, athletic stoicism – a similar simplified muscular man model to a childhood fantasy. This is not limited to men, as Hernández notes: “Women also seek predefined identities that relieve them of the effort of creative and subjective construction, because we are also trapped in digital capitalism. Just as men have the “Mediterranean warrior”, women have the professional woman.”

The simplicity of these identities thrives in digital spaces, in part for reasons of convenience – “it is easier to receive an instruction manual on what opinions to hold and how to live than to take on the challenge of inventing oneself- same,” remarks Hernández – and partly because of the diffusion of mimetic desire, as René Girard explains. Online, people often imitate the desires of others, whether it’s for the latest video game or reaching a higher weight on the bench press.

And when it comes to adults collecting toys, it may not be the alarming trend it seems. “You can have a doctorate on Plato or Proust and still be completely childish,” Rodríguez says. “Childishness in adults comes from escaping the responsibilities of adult life, which is particularly difficult today, and not from how one spends one’s discretionary income. And between relaxing with Legos or diazepam, I would choose Legos.

This is perhaps why Lego has just developed a whole methodology to improve work environments thanks to Lego games. It’s called Lego Serious Play and, like almost anything, can be either a productivity trap or a genuinely enjoyable and beneficial pastime.

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