Gazette Démocrate online

I was listening to an interview with painter Titus Kaphar in which he talked about his relationship with his estranged father, who struggled with addiction. Something he said resonated deeply with me as true – and contrary to what I have heard preached all my life in evangelical churches. He said it was also different from what he learned in church.

Kaphar said: “We use forgiveness and reconciliation as if they were synonyms. …They are not synonyms. … Forgiveness allows you to unburden yourself and say, “I’m not carrying this anymore. It’s too heavy. I’m done with this… I’m going to let this go. And in saying that, there is freedom. A weight is lifted off your shoulders.

“The part…