Just a week after Brianna “Chickenfry” LaPaglia accused country singer Zach Bryan of emotional abuseshe reflects on the impact her story has had on listeners of her “Barstool Sports” podcast, her 5 million social media followers and even those who are just discovering her and her story.

“(I received) tens of thousands of DMs,” LaPaglia said in Wednesday’s episode of the Best friends podcast, referring to the people who found themselves relating to his experience. “It’s disgusting the way people are treated and how they are made to feel like it’s all their fault. For example, I didn’t realize that narcissistic abuse was as prevalent as it was and I’m really glad I spoke out about it.

The explosive end of their relationship became public when Bryan took to social media on October 22 to announce the breakup. On Instagram Stories, he wrote, in part, “Brianna and I broke up with each other and I respect and love her with every ounce of my heart.” Although it seemed friendly, LaPaglia responded on her own social media to say she was “blindsided” by his post and would be taking a break from the online discourse.

On November 7, she published a podcast episode with co-hosts Dave Portnoy and Josh Richards, in which she talked about Bryan and claimed he offered her $12 million to sign a nondisclosure agreement preventing her from discussing the relationship. She said she refused.

“I didn’t take the money because I don’t deny my experiences and what I went through to protect someone who hurt me,” the 25-year-old said. She went on to claim that Bryan “isolated me from my entire life,” “made me hate everything I loved about myself,” and that “the last year of my life was the hardest year of my life dealing with this guy’s abuse.

She also took to social media to not only share more of her experience, but also to ask for advice, such as ways to gain weight after losing 15 pounds during the relationship, which she stated in an article. video was the result of anxiety. “It’s not because I didn’t want to eat, obviously,” she said. “I was physically ill because of what I was going through mentally.”

Bryan has yet to respond to LaPaglia’s claims. However, mental health experts say attention needs to be paid to the conversation about relationship violence.

What is psychological violence and how common is it?

Psychological abuse refers to non-physical behaviors aimed at controlling, isolating or frightening someone, through threats, insults, constant surveillance, excessive jealousy, manipulation, humiliation, intimidation and disdain, according to National Domestic Violence Hotline. It may be less well known than physical violence, a representative for the organization told Yahoo Life, because “these behaviors are often more subtle and difficult to identify.” However, psychological abuse is just as serious as other types of abuse and is very common.

“The reality is that 41% of women and 26% of men experience sexual contact violence, physical violence or harassment from an abusive partner in their lifetime, and more than 60 million women and 53 million men experience verbal or emotional abuse in their lifetime,” the representative says. THE 2020 hotline data specifically states that there were 182,784 reports of emotional and verbal abuse that year, representing 96% of all reports. “And yet we know that for every call we receive, many more people do not seek help due to shame and stigma,” the hotline says.

What are the signs of psychological abuse?

Although abuse can present itself in many ways, the National Domestic Violence Hotline offers some information. signs to watch out for. They include:

• Your partner tries to control you, your time and your actions

• Your partner tells you what to do and what to wear

• Your partner criticizes your appearance

• Your partner is jealous of the time you spend with your friends or family

• Your partner punishes you by withholding attention or affection

• Your partner wants you to ask permission before doing something or spending time with other people

• Your partner embarrasses you in public

• Your partner doesn’t trust you and is possessive

• Your partner wants access to your phone, passwords or social media

• Your partner overloads you with compliments and gifts, then uses them to manipulate you later (love bombing)

Why is it difficult to know if you are in an abusive relationship?

“Abusive relationships are not always abusive 100% of the time,” Sona Kaur, senior director of counseling at National Network on Rape, Abuse and Incest (RAINN), tells Yahoo Life. “After incidents of violence in the relationship, the abuser may apologize, act in a kind and caring manner, and promise that they will never harm the victim again or that they will change for the better. Abusers may remind the victim of the good times in the relationship to push them to see them in a more positive light.

This psychological manipulation can impact how a person experiences their own relationship while they are still in it. “Intense emotions, attachment, and sometimes fear can cloud judgment,” says Tanya Rawal, director of counseling at RAINN. “After leaving, victims are no longer subject to daily manipulation or pressure to conform, allowing them to reflect more objectively on the patterns and behaviors they endured. This distance provides the space to see the relationship more clearly, often revealing abusive tactics that they had not fully identified when they were involved.

Isolation from friends and family during the relationship, which is common in abusive scenarios, prevents a person from accessing this objective point of view sooner.

Why is it important to have conversations about psychological violence in the public sphere?

Having open conversations about relationship violence raises awareness of how often it happens and what it can look like, as LaPaglia herself has noted. Her story struck a chord with people who have since taken to social media to share their experiences and, in turn, connect with others about them.

“Brianna’s story about ZB really hits home when you’re dating a ZB too,” he said. woman posted on TikTokreferring to an abusive ex. Another made a video thanking LaPaglia for speaking out. “I didn’t expect to wake up and see a girl on the internet validating all of my feelings about my breakup,” she wrote. “It looks identical to her and Zach’s.”

Dialogue helps combat harmful misconceptions and stigmas that prevent people from recognizing or reporting abuse in their own lives.

“Discussing relationship violence in the public sphere is essential to reducing the stigma that often surrounds it, particularly for less visible forms like emotional and sexual violence. This stigma stems from misconceptions that abuse only involves physical violence or that survivors are somehow responsible if they “allowed” the abuse to occur, leading survivors to doubt their experiences and being ashamed to speak out,” says Rawal. “By openly addressing relationship violence, we help dismantle these harmful stereotypes and affirm that violence is never the survivor’s fault. Public conversations can change attitudes, promoting empathy rather than judgment and making people aware of the warning signs of abuse. This understanding is crucial to creating a supportive environment in which survivors feel comfortable seeking resources and sharing their stories without fear of judgment.

Even after leaving an abusive relationship, there is a healing process that is not often talked about. “It involves a lot of work: recognizing the trauma, prioritizing safety, seeking professional help, building a support network, taking care of yourself, setting boundaries, being patient with yourself, s “educate and gradually reclaim your power, while recognizing that healing is a personal and ongoing journey,” says Rawal. “We need to give ourselves time and patience as we work through the healing process. »

And even as people look to the journeys of public figures who have had similar experiences, Kaur says it’s important to remember that “the healing process will be different for everyone, and it’s not always linear.” .

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, help is available. Contact RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) and online.rainn.org.

For anyone affected by abuse and in need of support, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233), or if you are unable to safely talk, you can connect has thehotline.org or text “START” to 88788.