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    • Quint Studer | How to Rewire the Mind and Heart for Gratitude
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    Quint Studer | How to Rewire the Mind and Heart for Gratitude

    Pabio Posted on

    Quint Studer
    | Special to the News Journal

    I learn best when I’m working on something that isn’t easy. Being a natural pessimist, I focus on ways to become optimistic. Being naturally afraid and anxious leads to seeking be grateful and less fearful. My pursuit of results leads me to understand how important structure is to achieving results. There is a saying: “I didn’t get what I wanted; however, what I got was what I needed. Another statement that resonates is: “When I live in the past, I become sad or depressed. When I live in the future, I get anxious. It’s best to stay home today.

    More good news: our own research can help others. The more we help others, the better we feel.

    In my book “The Call: Why Health Care is So Special,” I wrote, “A heart full of gratitude has little room for anything else. » I didn’t write “no room”. I wrote “small room”. Progress versus perfection.

    Here are some suggestions.

    1. Create a gratitude text group. It doesn’t have to be big. I am in three gratitude groups in the morning. Two of them are me and one other person. The other is made up of four people. Every day we send the group three messages for which we are grateful. Mine is usually about an activity, conversation, or learning. A lot of times, one of mine is the fact that I have another day. Most members of these groups, myself included, were skeptical before starting this practice. Try it for five days. I think sending it to one or more other people is helpful.

    2. In the workplace, start each meeting by asking each participant to share something they are grateful for. This can change the mood of the group and make the meeting run more smoothly.

    3. Forgive and be kind to yourself. I have often shared that it takes at least three compliments for every criticism for a person to feel good about their leader. Yet people are more likely to notice what’s wrong rather than what’s right. This is true not only for the messages we send to each other, but also for the messages we send to each other. My observation is that people are not kind to themselves. We are much more willing to forgive others than ourselves.

    Last week’s column: Leaders also need appreciation. (It’s not “suck”!) | To study

    My suggestion: At the end of each day, take time to reflect and/or write down three positive actions you have taken. When early careerists ask me to share a piece of advice for them, I say, “Be kind to yourself.” Yes, be aware of the things you can improve; However, don’t worry. I often point out that I rarely see forgiveness listed as an organizational value. To create a great business, community, and/or relationship, it is important to forgive and apologize when necessary.

    I would like to conclude with a message that I often share: be a “to” person and not a “to” or “have to” person. We can rewire the mind and heart for gratitude. This leaves little room for anything else.

    Quint Studer is the author of 16 books on workplace and community leadership. His book Building a Vibrant Community is a valuable resource for civic leaders, business owners, and all citizens who have an interest in building a community where they can be proud to call home. In Sundays with Quint, he shares a selection of his popular leadership columns for executives, employees and business owners across all industries. He can be contacted at [email protected].

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