DEAR DEIDRE: My husband’s affair was devastating, but we have both worked hard to repair our marriage and I feel we are stronger than ever.

Looking back, I spent all my free time with my elderly parents and neglected my marriage.

The only problem is that even though our son has also forgiven her, my daughter won’t.

She’s making things really difficult and has moved into her boyfriend’s house – she’s only 19.

I am 55 years old, my husband 56 years old and our son 21 years old.

When I found out about the affair a year ago, I admit I was so upset and didn’t know how to function.

I couldn’t get out of bed, I barely ate and I didn’t even go to work for a few days.

It was my daughter who looked after me, bringing me cups of tea and cuddling up to me to watch old movies together.

Now she doesn’t understand how I could let him back into my life.

How can I contact her?

Although I am very happy that we are moving forward, I don’t want to do it at the expense of my family.

She refused to come spend the summer vacation with us and only comes home when she knows my husband is away.

I really miss my daughter.

DEIDRE SAYS: Some people see life very simply: in black or white.

Your daughter has seen you at your lowest and no doubt feels very protective of you.

Reassure her that you and her father have been honest with each other about your marriage and that you are working hard to rebuild your relationship.

Explain to her that even when she was your child, she was not a party to the intimate issues on either side of your relationship.

Let her know how much you appreciate her support when you were at your lowest, but explain to her that now you need her to move forward like you did.

Your daughter may also feel like her father betrayed her by having an affair.

Explain that your husband’s affair was between you as a couple and was never about his love for his children.

For further assistance, contact familylives.org.uk.