The wigs? To the point. Eyelashes? To the point. The costumes? To the point. The plot? It’s no use.

Lovers of RuPaul’s Drag Race could forgive the mess that is Slide: the musical, but anyone else with an IQ higher than a model with head trauma should stay away from New World scenes where high camp plateaus and not enough shade can be cast.

Tomas Costanza, Justin Andrew Honard (Alaska Thunderfuck), and Ashley Gordon are responsible for the book, music, and lyrics, all of which are rehashed from material you’ve seen before and jokes as funny as a calculus class.

With one rare exception: a bright yellow skirt with a crying emoji worn over a black-clad ensemble at a funeral. But a good belly laugh after two hours without an intermission just isn’t enough.

Alexis Gillmore (Nick Adams) is the mother of the Fish Tank, a drag dive bar that is “filled to the gills every night of the week.” The problem is that Gillmore isn’t the best money manager and he’s in big trouble with the IRS.

Across the street, a competing drag haven, the Cathouse, is in dire straits. Kitty Galloway’s establishment is being bullied by Rita LaRitz (J. Elaine Marcos), a real estate mogul who has just purchased the building and is threatening to build a skyscraper.

If LaRitz were a real person, I might suggest he rent this theater space and create a new show. Kitty and Alexis were once lovers, but they fell out and became bitter rivals. “No one knows what happened between Kitty and Alexis and no one ever will,” is the oft-repeated dramatic refrain. Frankly, no one cares.

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With lyrics that barely rhyme and forgettable music that’s so deafening you’ll want to file a noise complaint, it’s a case of big money wasted.

Clearly, there was a generous budget for Jason Sherwood’s grand set and Marco Marco’s flashy costumes. But the trash storyline and horrible score mean that Slide: The Musical a show that deserves to be crossed off the list.

Slide the musical (★☆☆☆☆) plays at New World Stages, 340 West 50th St. in New York. Tickets cost between $47 and $184. Visit www.dragthemusical.com.