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As the holidays approach, many emotions can arise ranging from anxiety to excitement. When it comes to sources of stress, one aspect of the season that many people find difficult is choosing a gift for their loved ones, especially their partner. Choosing the “perfect gift” can be tricky, as we may feel like we’ve exhausted all gift options after spending many holiday seasons together.

When considering gifts, it is not the gift itself, but the message it contains that gives meaning to the exchange (Zhang and Epley, 2012). We want our gift to be thoughtful and reflect our feelings towards our partner. Instead of worrying about finding another item to wrap, consider giving an experience-based gift this holiday season. Not only will it help you create lasting memories, but it can also lead to personal and relational expansion. Before we provide some practical, experience-based gift-giving tips, let’s discuss the self-expansion model.

Self-expansion model

The self-expansion model, originally designed by psychologist Arthur Aron, posits that when we enter a new relationship, there are many opportunities for expansion or growth. A person benefits from learning from their partner and grows through sharing ideas, interests, and resources. This can lead to personal development and growth and has important implications on relationships. Research has demonstrated that couples who participated in new and exciting activities together reported greater marital satisfaction than those who participated in regular activities (Reissman et al., 1993). Indeed, shared activities not only help a couple create memories, but also allow them to practice new skills, potentially see different perspectives, and bond over a new shared vision. identify. Through the sharing of new activities and perspectives, each individual and the couple as a whole have the potential to transform.

To help you strengthen your bond during the holidays, here are some experience-based gift ideas to make the season even more special.

Take a class together

If your partner likes a particular type of cooking, try finding a cooking class that specializes in that area. You’ll get to enjoy each other’s company, learn a new skill, and (hopefully) take home some delicious food. Plus, you’ll have a fun recipe to recreate together later. If food isn’t your thing, select lessons that are meaningful to your partner. Does your partner enjoy a certain hobby? Or is there something they’ve always wanted to try? Organizing classes together, whether in a sport or hobby, can be a great connection experience.

Plan a weekend getaway

Escape from everyday stress by planning a short weekend focused on spending time together. Look for a location that’s only a few hours away, so you can get there quickly and enjoy a relaxed mini-adventure. Consider choosing a destination that offers seasonal activities, like skiing or ice skating, or simply relaxing near a fire pit. Be sure to take your partner’s preferences into account, as a ski retreat won’t be enjoyable if they aren’t a fan of the outdoors.

Rather than viewing gift selection as a stressful task, see it as an opportunity to schedule quality time together and develop. Choose an experience that is meaningful to your partner and use it to create wonderful new memories.