It was a Saturday afternoon during Simchat Torah, the last holiday of the month-long Jewish High Holidays. Every year it is a happy occasion; we dance in the synagogue and children receive bags of lollipops as we gather to celebrate the year it took to finish reading the entire Torah.

On October 7, 2023, I arrived at my synagogue in Melbourne with my husband and children. Because it was during a holiday where Orthodox Jews don’t use phones, money or electricity, I had been disconnected from technology. I did not yet know that just hours earlier, Hamas had carried out a massive attack in Israel that reportedly resulted in the brutal deaths of some 1,200 people, including around 800 civilians.

I remember the silence that spread through the crowd when a security guard arrived to tell us that a war had broken out in Israel. What do you mean there were hundreds of Israeli casualties? I wondered. How were dozens of hostages able to be brought back to Gaza?

My life has changed since that day. In Australia, although we are geographically distant from the Middle East, October 7 marked a seismic shift for my community. Anti-Semitism is on the riseand many members of my community are concerned for our safety. None of the victims of October 7 seemed random to me. Jews make up about 14 million people worldwide, or 0.2% of the world’s population, and I had many connections to many of the people who were murdered. It involved my sister-in-law’s cousin, Adi Vital Kaplounwho was murdered at her home on Kibbutz Holit in front of her two children, who later appeared in court Hamas clip appeared in Telegram.

Israel’s actions in Gaza also mean that Palestinians face indescribable danger. I see the horrible videos, including that of Sha’ban al-Dalou in the courtyard of a hospital connected to an IV drip as he is burned alive after an Israeli airstrike. I see the destruction of so many houses in Gazathe many people who are suffering and are now homeless. My heart breaks for the Palestinians who are not part of Hamas, whose loved ones and children have been killed by Israel and whose businesses and homes have been destroyed. I follow Palestinian journalists on social media and I am horrified by the carnage they are experiencing.

But since October 7, there have also been palpable concerns about the personal safety of the Jewish people, real and experienced daily. I see my 7-year-old son practicing active shooter drills during his after-school Hebrew class, something he had never done before October 7, a stark reminder of the threats that have grown too near his home. In Caulfield, the suburb where I live and where I stood for Parliament in 2022 as an independent, there is unease in the air. At my children’s Jewish preschool, security was increased, parents volunteered to monitor drop-off and pick-up times, and larger fences were built. I often think twice about whether it is safe to go to my synagogue or a Jewish institution.

Just a few months ago, Melbourne’s largest Jewish school, Mount Scopus Memorial College in Burwood, was covered in graffiti reading: “A Jew dies”and last November, a synagogue around the corner from my house was evacuated after a violent protest. Sometimes I ask my sons, ages seven and three, to wear baseball caps over their skullcaps, fearing that our Jewish observance might make us a target for abuse when we go out in public.

I know that most Australians are kind and caring people. I know that debates about Israel, Palestine and the Australian approach will continue as long as this war rages. But I also want to share my experiences of this conflict to show how it affects the lives of the Jewish people, that not only do we have family members who were killed or who knew people killed on October 7, but we do not Also feel unsafe in Australia. Every day, a conflict happening thousands of miles from Melbourne affects my life. Some of my siblings live in Israel, many of my friends live there, and I feel a deep connection to my Jewish culture and heritage.

In the year since the start of the war between Hamas and Israel, many Australian Jews have been destitute. We feel abandoned and ignored by many progressive allies who have been unable to unequivocally condemn the killing of Israeli civilians and the rape of Israeli women on October 7. For me, October 7 marked a decisive moment; in the weeks that followed, I left my position on the board of directors of Faith Communities Council of Victoriawho could not condemn the murder of Jews on October 7. It was hurtful that an organization in which I had invested so much time and effort could not be clear in its denunciation of terrorism.

The past year has been one of the most difficult I can remember in Australia. This is the country that my grandfather, a Holocaust survivor, chose for its promise of safety and freedom from the horrors of Europe. The Middle East may be far away, but pain, fear and sorrow are felt daily – both for those we mourn in Israel and for those suffering in Gaza. We all deserve peace, but it seems more distant than ever.