The freezing cold ground when you get out of bed on a February morning. The gusts of wind as you walk to your car after your errands. The darkness that descends on a December afternoon. Crusty brown snow piled up in parking lots long after a February storm. Winter is a disappointment, right?

But it is not obligatory.

In his new book How to Get Through Winter: Harness Your Mindset to Thrive on Cold, Dark, or Difficult Days, Kari Leibowitz, PhD, a Stanford-trained health psychologist, says creating and maintaining a “positive winter mindset” can be the difference between experiencing the “joys and delights of a special time of year.” and sink into “sleepwalking” for an entire season.

And it’s not that hard to choose the former, says Leibowitz – “a reformed winter hater,” as she puts it – whose research includes spending a sunless season in northern Norway and to visit some of the coldest places on Earth. His book describes how people in these cultures, out of necessity, adapted their behaviors and attitudes to make their winter days more pleasant – and how we can borrow some of their strategies.

The simplest thing is to make your home as cozy as possible (bring out those fluffy blankets, candles, and string lights, friends!). But she also advocates bundling up properly and spending time outside, even on the coldest days (this can be a serious mood booster), as well as changing the way you talk about winter. This can be subtle: she will say, “I hate being cold,” not “I hate the cold,” for example.

If you adapt your physical environment and behavior during winter, Leibowitz insists, your outlook will likely change with it. (It’s a kind of “fake it till you make it,” which she describes as a “tragically underrated” strategy.)

The author discussed ways to winter well with AARP via video chat from Amsterdam, where she has lived for the past few years. (The interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.)

Start preparing for winter in the fall

I love fall. It’s the time of year when it starts to get darker and I start to change my behavior. I take out the candles and light them when the sun goes down – or, if it’s gray and cloudy, I light them when I sit down at the table to eat breakfast in the morning. It’s so basic, it’s almost cliché, like, “Oh, light some candles.” » But it’s really about transforming the darkness. It’s really about saying, “Okay, it’s gray and cloudy and dark outside, so I can make it comfortable inside.” » Maybe I’ll organize a friendly dinner. I’ll put a thick comforter on the bed and get out my pajamas and fuzzy socks.