Parents want their children to become strong and resilient. They understand that life will only get more complicated as they get older, with an increasing number of possible points of failure and disappointment. The best we can do is train our children to overcome adversity and move forward, even when conditions are not in their favor.

The mindset that leads to such a response to failure is called “growth mindset.” Originally coined by psychologist Carol Dweck, growth mindset refers to valuing hard work, effort, and perseverance as determinants of success. When someone with a growth mindset fails, they don’t think, “I’m just not good enough.” They think: “Next time I will have to try harder. »

While it would be easy to suggest that cultivating this way of thinking is simply about changing a few thoughts, the reality is that a growth mindset is shaped by the environment your child is a part of it – their peers, their coaches, and their parents.

Helping your children develop a growth mindset – one that accepts challenges and views abilities as qualities that can be developed over time – can be a game-changer in their lives. This state of mind builds resilience and perseverance and promotes a love of learning and personal development. Here’s a look at 6 science-backed steps you can take to help instill this invaluable mindset in your children.

1. Focus on effort, not just results

One of the cornerstones of a growth mindset is valuing the process over the product. When children are praised only for their achievements or inherent talents, they can develop a fixed mindset. They might think they are “good” at something because of their innate abilities rather than their effort, which can discourage them from taking on new challenges.

To foster a growth mindset, emphasize effort, perseverance, and strategies. For example, instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” try, “I’m proud of how hard you worked on this.” This moves them from being “smart” to becoming someone who works hard, a key to unlocking resilience. Research shows that recognizing effort rather than inherent talent promotes resilience and perseverance, as children learn that success is something they can work toward rather than something static (Dweck, 2006).

2. Normalize mistakes as learning opportunities

Fear failure often holds children back. By shifting the focus from achievement to learning, you can help your children view mistakes as part of the growing process. When they encounter a setback, discuss it openly. Ask: “What can you learn from this experience?” or “How could you approach this differently next time?”

This perspective teaches children to accept challenges as a necessary part of improvement. You can reinforce this by sharing stories of people who achieved success through perseverance, reminding them that even the best make mistakes. For example, Roger Federer, one of the greatest players of all time, learned to let go of self-criticism and view every defeat as a learning opportunity, thus strengthening his performance and trust.

3. Teach the power of “yet”

Adding “yet” to a statement transforms it from defeatist to optimistic. For example, if your child says, “I can’t do that,” encourage them to rephrase it with, “I can’t do that yet.” This small change has a significant psychological impact. This promotes resilience and helps them recognize that their current struggle does not determine their future abilities. With time, effort and practice, they can improve.

This technique helps children change the way they think, thereby reducing stress they feel immediate performance. This reinforces that their abilities are not fixed but rather can be developed through hard work and perseverance.

4. Create an environment that encourages perseverance

Your child’s environment plays an important role in shaping his or her mindset. Proper support, structure, and encouragement can promote perseverance.

As a parent, you can create this environment by setting clear, achievable goals. goals and celebrating the progress made towards them. Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable parts so they can succeed along the way.

5. Pay attention to language and comments

The language you use with your children shapes their beliefs. Small changes can have a profound impact. For example, avoid labeling them as “naturally gifted” in certain areas, as this can lead to a fixed mindset in which they avoid areas in which they don’t immediately excel. Instead, encourage phrases like “You worked really hard on this, and it shows” or “Your strategy here was effective.”

When providing constructive feedback, focus on areas they can control, like their approach, efforts, or planning, rather than qualities like intelligence or talent. This helps them view improvement as a matter of working smarter and harder, rather than a factor of innate ability.

6. Model a growth mindset in your own life

Children are keen observers, and one of the best ways to instill a growth mindset is to model it yourself. Show them how you handle setbacks, approach challenges and learn new skills. Share your thought process when faced with challenges. For example, if you’re having trouble completing a new task, explain your approach: “I’m struggling with this, but I know that if I continue to work at it, I will get better at it.” »

Seeing you face challenges with patience, optimism and resilience teaches them that they can do the same. Additionally, be open about your mistakes. It normalizes the idea that everyone – children and adults – can learn and improve over time.

Building a Growth Mindset is a Journey

Fostering a growth mindset is not about creating a constant encouragement of positivity, but rather about building a foundation of resilience, curiosity, and love for learning. It’s about teaching children that they are in control of their progress and encouraging them to embrace challenges rather than shy far from them.

With consistent support, effort-focused feedback, and your role model, your child will gradually develop the confidence to view setbacks as a stepping stone to growth. This journey takes time, but it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give: a mindset that allows them to continue learning and growing, no matter what life throws at them.