Andy van der Meyde has admitted he will never forgive himself for the way he behaved at Everton or how he ruined his career.

FC Inter News cover the Dutchman’s comments given to Prime today, in which he admits to going off the rails during his time at Goodison Park.

Van der Meyde joined Everton in a €9 million deal from Inter Milan in July 2005 and arrived with a great reputation after two years with the Italian side.

He was a product of Ajax’s academy and had also shone in their first team, with 21 goals and 33 assists in 122 games for the Dutch giants.

He had only impressed in flashes at Inter and that also proved to be the case at Everton, where he managed just four assists and 24 appearances in total over four years before being released for free in 2009.

His career ended in 2012 and he has since turned to the media, where he has spoken openly about his mistakes and his struggles with alcohol and drugs.

These battles were at their worst during his time at Everton and Van der Meyde is ready to admit it, detailing what he did.

“I ruined everything” he said.

“My football career was almost over when I left for England, it all ended because I did a lot of stupid things, I was young and with a lot of money, and I had a double life. J I cheated on my ex-wife, she didn’t deserve all that, she was a good woman. I abandoned my children for someone else. I will never forgive myself. I can’t blame anyone else for that.

“I lived in Liverpool and we went out on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We drank a lot and the satisfaction was never enough. When alcohol was no longer enough for me, I started with drugs, cocaine. I was no longer myself.

“There were problems with the coach, my private life was complicated. The little princess spent the first three years of her life in hospital. It was all just a mix of problems. That’s why everything started going wrong.

“So I understand. After two nights of being high on cocaine. I called my agent and told him I had to go: ‘I want to leave Liverpool or I’ll end up killing myself.’ My wife, she saved me. If I had had him with me when I was a footballer, I would have been one of the best wingers of all time.