DEAR ABBY: My primary school teacher died recently. I hadn’t seen her in over 20 years because of how she made me feel. I remember her as manipulative and negative towards those less fortunate. Because I did not come from a wealthy or prominent family, I was subjected to humiliation, fear, and intimidation. I remember her as being money-oriented, critical and favoring the privileged, who she believed to be smarter.
Because I had dyslexia, I had difficulty reading and interpreting words, so she made me stand and deal with shame for hours. Now that she is dead, I realize that I never had the chance to tell her how wrong she was and that in college my negative attitude toward education improved because I I had excellent teachers and excellent classmates.
The people who now praise her are the same people she promoted and favored. I just wish I could speak from my perspective because many have been mistreated.

— SCAR IN TEXAS

DEAR SCAR: I think you expressed your feelings very well. This teacher may not have recognized that she had a student with a learning disability and punished you when she should have realized that what you needed to succeed was extra help. Consider his inability to properly manage his learning disability and try to forgive him. You’ve done just fine despite her, and it’s time to get her out of your head.
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DEAR ABBY: Can I help my 55-year-old daughter, who has just embarked on a new relationship that is undoubtedly doomed to failure? She quickly cohabits with these men, generally after less than two months. Then my daughter reinvents herself to appeal to HER ideal. Every time their relationship ends, it costs him dearly and has a negative impact on his now adult children.
Despite all of this, my daughter remained employed, even though four years is a long time in one position. I fear this latest move will limit his employment opportunities once the work-from-home trend subsides. Is it like dealing with a drug addict or alcoholic who has to figure things out for themselves to seek help? This roller coaster took its toll on me too.

— MOM AWAY

DEAR MOM: You can talk until you’re blue in the face, and I’m guessing you’ve tried more than once to make your middle-aged daughter understand that what she did didn’t work for her . She’s not a “drug addict”, but she’s desperate for a partner.
When your daughter finally realizes that she doesn’t need to turn herself into a pretzel to please a man, and that she is fine just as she is – a successful, self-reliant, useful mother in her own right – she can not only feel better about themselves, but also have a better chance of finding a partner.