I meet many who are frustrated by the effect they seem to have (and lack thereof) on others. They want to grow their business, resonate, connect, sell things, and make an impact. But one thing we may be lacking that is at the heart of this level of influence is trust.

We continually telegraph our intentions, consciously and unconsciously. And people make snap judgments based on our actions. Whether or not we can influence another human depends on trust. If this is lacking, they will not stay long.

Here are eight signs of someone you can truly trust:

1. They keep their promises

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Far too many people downplay the importance of doing what you say you will do. Not only is this essential for instilling confidence in others, but it also reinforces your identity as a responsible person you believe in.

This is why consistent people inspire more trust. Sometimes it may seem trivial to follow through on something you said that doesn’t mean a lot to you, but every little thing you do is felt and seen in some way in the world. world. When we continually fail to translate our words into actions, people – slowly but surely – begin to lose faith in us.

Research published in 2023 by Frontiers in Psychology shows that keeping your promises significantly benefits your personal and professional relationships by building trust, improving your reputation, boosting self-esteem, and promoting positive emotional well-being, as broken promises can lead to feelings of guilt, shame and damaged relationships. with the others. Essentially, keeping your word is a crucial factor in fostering strong, reliable relationships.

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2. They are not self-centered

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This is the trend for many in the modern era. Everybody’s looking into a phoneconcerned about their appearance, even if no one sees them. If you continually think about how you present yourself, it reflects one thing: you are not thinking about others.

When our life strategy is one-sided – that of obsessive self-preservation – others will sense it. Would you trust someone who can’t stop thinking about themselves?

3. They don’t trigger easily

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If you are triggered by something or someone and react emotionally without thinking, this shows emotional immaturity. We’re talking about the difference a few seconds make.

Learn to create the smallest space in your free space so as not to react unnecessarily. People lose trust in anyone who doesn’t control their emotions. Be careful here as it can destroy your reputation.

Being relaxed and moving slowly can earn you respect by projecting confidence, composure and control. A study published by Frontiers in Psychology indicates that you are not easily upset or pressured and can make thoughtful decisions even in stressful situations. This shows that you are “in the moment” and are not in a hurry to react impulsively.

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4. They tell the truth

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Sometimes we lie to be tactful in a social situation so as not to hurt others unnecessarily. It reflects a person’s social intelligence. However, most forms of lying, especially when discovered by the recipient, are significantly damaging to the relationship and the person’s level of trust. Lying is a no-brainer on this list. This is also why being honest is so refreshing.

How could they trust you again when we’re not honest and they find out? Even if you tell the truth, people will have a hard time believing you from then on.

A 2020 study from the Journal of Legal Studies Education suggests that consistently telling the truth promotes strong, trusting relationships, reduces stress and anxiety, improves mental health, builds personal integrity, and can even lead to a better reputation within a community, which which generally makes it beneficial in most social situations. However, there are nuanced situations in which a white lie may be considered appropriate depending on the context and intent.

5. They take good care of themselves

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Many of us overlook the need to look good on the outside. “It’s superficial! » you say. But what does it mean if you can’t find time to take care of yourself inside and out? Do you even have time to think about others?

The main characteristic of a good leader is to genuinely care about those around them. It starts with demonstrating self-care, down to the small aesthetic details.

I will trust you less if you walk around with poor personal hygiene. This also applies to your aesthetic and online mannerisms.

In a 2021 national survey conducted by VagaroAmericans cited the benefits of self-care as improved self-confidence (64%), increased productivity (67%), and greater happiness (71%). From a physical health perspective, self-care reduces heart disease, stroke, and cancer.

6. They are responsible for their words and actions

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I would be rich if I made a hundred dollars for every person who approached me with a challenge about disappointed expectations.

“Jason tells me his coworker is driving him crazy and isn’t doing his best in the office.”

Relationships almost always break down because we rely on our expectations instead of making firm agreements with people. To create positive synergy, whether with a child, a spouse or a colleague, we must make agreements with them and with ourselves.

This is what it means to be responsible. Expectations will rarely be met. But when I pluck up the courage and say, “Can we agree to do this?” » now we communicate like adults and enjoy a trusting environment.

Research published by the Journal of Economic Psychology suggests that lowering expectations can lead to greater satisfaction and less disappointment. When people are uncertain about a desirable outcome, they may attempt to protect themselves from the experience of disappointment by underestimating their chances of achieving the outcome in question.

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7. They rarely make assumptions

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When we make assumptions, we act on incomplete information. We do this out of impatience and lack of emotional maturity (do you notice a common thread forming?).

Basing decisions on assumptions has caused untold heartache and frustration to billions of humans over time. Simply put, assuming everything is fine, but acting on an assumption is risky and often unwise.

If we exit a T-junction assuming there are no other cars, with limited information, we risk a collision. When we live like this, we surreptitiously diminish our confidence in ourselves, and others will lose confidence in us as well.

8. They take full responsibility for their mistakes

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Have you ever met someone who can’t seem to take responsibility for what they do? How trustworthy do they seem to you?

There is a direct link between the propensity to blame externalities and the trust they inspire in others. For what?

Because not taking responsibility for your bad judgments always comes from a place of insecurity. Insecure people are often prone to making poor decisions, and many are quick to run away before others.

Confidence happens when we see that you are willing to look bad or have an uncomfortable conversation if it means finding out the truth. For example, if someone admits to mistakes in their past so that we learn something that will help us, that is taking responsibility and it is honest. It inspires confidence. Leaders who take risks and are willing to face criticism have the most followers.

Several studies and philosophical discussions explore the concept of radical responsibility, particularly in fields such as ethics, leadership and social psychology, focusing on taking responsibility for one’s actions and impact beyond the immediate situation, often including examination of systemic problems and personal complicity within them.

Philosophical explorations around “radical responsibility” typically look at the concept of “moral agency”, where individuals are seen as having greater responsibility in considering the wider implications of their actions and choices , even if they seem minor. according to a 2021 analysis published by the Journal of Nursing Philosophy.

If I can leave you with one more piece of advice on confidence that has helped me over the years and that I come back to often:

We’re all connected, so forget about being self-obsessed and help others get what they want: they’ll want to support you in return. (You can’t just say you’re trustworthy – you have to demonstrate it).

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Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a lucrative personal brand through your knowledge and skills while remaining mentally resilient.