As the world of reality TV has become more and more refined, The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City has effectively formed a separate island where moral dilemmas go to die. It’s almost impossible to find a voice of reason, someone who truly embodies exemplary behavior, because even our most self-aware housewives cannot fight the currents of this strange reality.

In Salt Lake City, everyone is so wrong that they almost all turn around to be right. Now that Season 5 is halfway over, the entire cast has reached a devastating crossroads — and yet they continue to head into the unknown. It’s all gas, no brakes.

Among the many ways RHOSLC continues to defy gravity, consider this: Tonight’s episode is the first in series history without an appearance from Heather Gay. Our Bad Mormon is in hibernation, waiting in the wings to give another clever end-of-season monologue (if the mid-season trailer(that’s a hint), while the screaming banshees continue their fierce fight.

As Mary also bows out of the trip, we check in with her for a truly creepy solo scene. It’s been years since Well done the solo footage seemed so overwhelming and heartbreaking, reminiscent of the early days of Orange County. On paper, the scene of Robert Jr. and his wife eating pastries in bed isn’t that wild, but the reality is more disturbing than anything I’ve ever seen.

Back in Palm Springs, Lisa is at war with the entire cast and all of their husbands, at this point playing this video Meg family guy successfully fighting a dozen people in a cafeteria. While Heather’s removal is a slower process, Lisa simply spends each day in a constant fight for her life.

“I feel like it’s non-stop. It’s like: Lisa breathes; she did something wrong. Lisa sneezes; she did something wrong. And then? Whose turn is it to yell at Lisa? says knight in shining armor John Barlow in a confessional, proving he’s a true courtier to his crazy wife.

Having narrowly survived her expulsion from the trip, Lisa walks into the lunch as brazen as ever, ready to remind the ladies exactly why they can’t kick her out. There would be no show! To be fair to Todd, this is probably his ideal situation.

First, Lisa criticizes Whitney for lying about her, not only doubling down, but also throwing another jab at Justin. Then, she fends off Angie and Shawn’s attempt to scold her for her “abusive” behavior towards Angie. Lisa isn’t sorry for this, of course, and she doesn’t offer a real apology either. Faced with the anger of three couples, Lisa simply beams at their hatred. Fear only makes her stronger.

That evening, the ladies celebrate Bronwyn and Todd’s birthday with a series of exciting games and convoluted conversations. It’s not really a vow renewal curse, but this trip celebrating their “love” feels an awful lot like a precursor to Bronwyn celebrating a divorce.

Nothing says love like “luckily for me, Todd travels a lot.” When your marriage raises red flags from Meredith Marks, renowned relationship expert from the now-defunct podcast Hanging By a Thread, it’s not a good sign. Maybe the reason Bronwyn was so angry that Heather would call her a gold digger and notice her lack of a prenup is because she doesn’t want to give Heather a victory when the inevitable divorce will occur. Or maybe Bronwyn loves her husband and just doesn’t know how to express human emotions. It really could be either one.

As a couple of quiet stragglers join the group for dinner, they are unable to participate in the Bravo-mandated games. Sorry for them. I would like to know who is their least favorite person at the table.

It’s the best Bravo-based question since last season “Who would you throw off your wagon?” “, allowing these stars to calmly and collectively announce who they plan to compete with in the final half of the season. It’s really a little storyboard session.

And, although Whitney still hates Meredith more than Lisa, she opts for a second duel with Baby Magnifique. Of course, Lisa doesn’t shy away from another opportunity to serve, as her effervescent, windswept energy continues to stun her so powerfully that she gets an apology from Whitney’s husband out of sheer stubbornness.

The husband drama continues to heat up with the most random feud of all: Meredith vs. Shawn. As you may recall, Meredith reportedly hinted that he may or may not be a closeted homosexual with a plethora of boyfriends, although she insists more than ever that that never happened.

Apparently, Shawn went on a podcast – the root of all evil – and claimed that Meredith protected herself from his homophobic behavior by naming his own gay son, Brooks. Maybe he’s right, because it’s hard to argue that Meredith acted with love and respect in dismissing these allegations last year.

The actual quote is a trifle, but Meredith hasn’t listened to this podcast. No one has ever listened to a podcast or read an article on Bravo. There is never a burden of proof.

Yet Meredith’s husband Seth posts a post on one of those random Housewives blogs that allegedly proves that Shawn insulted Brooks, despite the actual quote showing how harmless a comment he actually made was. Seth then calls Whitney a “slut”, which is sure to create some hateful Housewives talk for weeks to come. He has the receipts, the proof, the deadlines and the screenshots – and with that, he has embodied Heather Gay’s casting curse. For 40 days and 40 nights, Seth must suffer the wrath of the Twitter warriors.

This whole fight is so bizarre it’s unbelievable. Something about Shawn’s relative normalcy, contrasted with Meredith’s transatlantic insults, scratches a wonderful itch. Dare I say, they have chemistry too. I watched this whole scene wondering if they were going to kiss. It’s 98 percent because I don’t feel well, but there’s a sliver of reality to it all, if you believe it.

Then Angie tries to offer an amuse-bouche by bringing up how Bronwyn’s daughter reconnected with her grandparents, only to learn that that’s actually not the case. Todd immediately ends the conversation, interrupting Bronwyn’s rambling at least four times. The embarrassment on Bronwyn’s face is palpable, and it’s finally something real.

When Bronwyn cuts into these overly long confessionals about how crazy and stupid these ladies are, she’s actually interesting. Vulnerability is the key to longevity in any longtime housewife, especially for those whose natural humor can’t compete with her peers, as it does for her. Bronwyn seems to have joined this series to shed her current skin. I just know that divorced Bronwyn is going to prove that every Braunwyn what happens to Bravo is destined for sophomore psychosis.

The next day, Bronwyn and Lisa try to resolve their issues, once and for all, at the racetrack. The overstimulation of these cars zapping and zapping while the ladies try to talk is like one of those TikTok videos where there’s a pimple popping video in one corner, a presidential debate downstairs, and Subway Surfers up top. It’s just too much.

So they give up, waiting until they get home to fight without distraction. Poolside, the duo continues to have the conversation they’ve been having all season. Bronwyn begs Lisa to support her unconditionally, while Lisa continues to withdraw from Bronwyn, knowing full well that the friend she brought onto this show has become a liability.

“I’m open to the idea that in Lisa’s mind I’m the problem and she’s not just a crazy, vicious, two-faced bitch who is horrible to other women, right- isn’t it?” Bronwyn says in a smug confessional, sort of getting to the point. She’s just too excited about Lisa being a bad friend. Bronwyn never wanted Lisa to be faithful to her, and she never planned to be. She doesn’t like him! And that’s okay, but it destroys the credibility of his argument.

Ultimately, yes, Lisa thinks Bronwyn is two-faced. She likes Heather more and agrees with Heather’s interpretation. And it’s the kind of thing where, in the moment, Bronwyn wins the battle, but she has to think: will she even have troops to fight the war? She comes from a very different angle than Monica, but it’s not hard to imagine her ending up alone, all the same.

After all, his eagerness to expose Lisa is hilarious when it’s abundantly clear that Lisa is going to sabotage herself. Just watch the last five minutes, where Lisa bypasses flying economy on a 65-minute, “none of the amenities” flight.

“Oh my God. I’m in 17C. Look. I’m in 17C,” will echo in my mind for many moons to come. If this plane is actually that small, first class will probably get you three extra chair inches and a free cookie, maybe, if you’re lucky And yet, her meltdown is funny, whereas Bronwyn’s “this isn’t the Brat Summer I was hoping we were heading for” is. is not. This is aggressively not funny. We need a moratorium on Bronwyn confessionals until we can resolve this ever growing crisis.

Sorry to say, because Heather’s removal is well-timed and well-deserved, but not everyone has what it takes to be the show’s Greek chorus. That’s Ms. Gay’s role, for better or worse.