JEAN STOSSEL

I often report fakes “crises” pushed by the media.

Here’s one that might be real:

The children are anxious.

In my new video, Lenore Skenazy, founder of the nonprofit Let Grow, explains that it’s because today’s parents rarely allow their children to experience the joys of independence.

Skenazy once let his 9-year-old child ride the New York subway alone. For this, the media described her as “The Worst Mom in America.” “Law and order” the TV show produced an episode in which the kid riding alone is kidnapped and murdered.

But in real life, what Skenazy allowed isn’t that risky. His son told me: “I know how to get around.” Nothing bad happened to him and he gained the confidence that comes from taking care of himself.

Skenazy argues that not letting children take care of themselves makes them insecure. Anxiety and depression are “off the charts” she said, quoting the Journal of Pediatrics,

“How do you know the cause is lack of freedom? I ask. “Maybe it’s social media.”

“Anxiety and depression were increasing before cell phones. » she answers.

According to her, the cause is the media hype around isolated examples of child abductions and “Stranger danger.”

“It actually points everyone in the wrong direction. » she said. “The biggest threat to a child is someone they know, not a stranger.”

Skenazy says parents should just teach their children to “know that no one can touch you where your swimsuit covers you. Resist, run, kick, scream. If someone bothers you, don’t be nice. Resist. And then report back.

“These three Rs” she said, “Keep children much safer than ‘stranger danger,’ because most strangers pose no danger.”

Allowing children to experience independence doesn’t just help the children, she says; it helps parents.

“It’s not fun to think that as soon as your kids go outside, they’re going to be kidnapped…and it’s not fun to have to be with your kids every second.”

The Surgeon General of the United States has issued a “advice on mental health and well-being of parents”, while writing, “Over the past decade, parents have been consistently more likely to report experiencing high levels of stress. »

“It’s miserable if you have to spend every second watching, supervising, entertaining” said Skenazy, “when there are so many things you could do with your life!” »

“Let Grow, the nonprofit I run, asks teachers to assign kids to go home and do something new on their own…just so parents have the experience to… watch the child go to the store, the park or whatever you want. We are in a dangerous neighborhood, the kitchen is making pancakes without the parents being there to light the stove.”

She says kids do that “Let the experience grow” feel better about yourself “Because we trust them and they’re doing something new, and it’s exciting.”

Again, it’s not just the kids who benefit.

“The parents are delighted” she said. “I used to think it was because they were so happy their child wasn’t kidnapped… But then I started thinking: You have to have children so they can live when you don’t. you’re not there. Until you let your child do something without you, you don’t know if he or she will be okay without you. So it’s that ecstatic moment of realizing, “Hey, I had a kid who’s going to be okay.” »

She says let it grow “is exposure therapy for parents” because they “were not exposed to letting their children go. They think if I let my child out, something bad will happen, or I’m a bad parent, or I’ll never be able to forgive myself.

Children need independence for the same reason adults do; this is how we grow.

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John Stossel posts a new video every Tuesday on JohnStossel.com.