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Dear Abby: Mother overcomes deep emotions as children grow
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Dear Abby: Mother overcomes deep emotions as children grow

DEAR ABBY: I had my four children when I was 24. My oldest is a senior, while my others are sophomores, eighth graders, and seventh graders. Sometimes I feel like I’m going through a grieving process more than ever, as they get older and time passes incredibly quickly.

Is it normal to feel sadness and grief as your children grow up, knowing that they will be gone in a few years? My oldest just joined the military and left after his senior year of high school. I became a mother so young that it’s all I’ve known and dedicated my life to (besides being a wife and a healthcare worker).

Is what I’m feeling normal and, if so, will the emotional part ever get easier? I pride myself on being the best I can be as a mother and caregiver, and I struggle – especially with my oldest – knowing that I need to let go. — MAMA INVESTED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR MOM: People suffer from “empty nest syndrome” to varying degrees. You are a successful parent, but you are also so much more than that. You raised your daughter to adulthood and prepared her for independence. It was your job. It doesn’t die, you don’t lose it, and it doesn’t “disappear on a sand dune.” She now has the opportunity to use the skills you taught her to create a successful future.

Cry Me A River. Be proud of yourself. Be proud of her. Now that your children are older, explore activities that will enrich your life. You deserved it.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.