A SINGLE mother has shared her heartbreaking decision to put two of her children up for adoption.

The now 32-year-old explained that she could not afford to raise them alone.

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“The feeling of giving a child up for adoption is hurtful,” said Hannah Martin, originally from Pennsylvania, USA.

“It’s traumatic. It’s very heartbreaking, but at the same time it’s heartwarming because you’re doing the right thing.”

Hannah, now a stay-at-home mom with a 15-year-old son, an eight-year-old daughter and a six-year-old son, placed a baby girl named Adriana for adoption in 2011.

Then just 19, Hannah says she was “excited but scared” when she found out she was expecting.

“I got pregnant by my brother’s friend because we ended up dating, being young and stupid,” says Hannah, noting that she used birth control pills but not a condom.

Even though Adriana’s birth was unplanned, the decision to place her for adoption weighed heavily on her heart.

“I kept her for about, I want to say a month and a half, and I couldn’t do it,” Hannah explained.

“The father refused to help me, he said it was not his child.

“He apologized to me and said he couldn’t do it, so I said, ‘OK, I have no choice but to find someone who wants to start a family.'”

She was helped by Maria, a lawyer from Miami, who became a guide and someone to “vent” to.

“She was like another mother to me, and she helped me through it all, got me therapy and everything I needed to get everything right,” Hannah said.

“I just needed someone to tell me it was okay, that I did the right thing in giving this little girl the life she deserves.”

With the help of Maria, who worked in the state of Florida placing children in foster care, Hannah signed the papers to give Adriana up for adoption.

“It was scary, but I felt like they were going to a better place,” she recalls.

Her second adopted child, Tyler, was born in 2013, when Hannah was 21 and living in Alabama.

She explained that she became pregnant again despite using Depo-Provera, but did not have an abortion.

Hannah thought it would be different this time because she was in a relationship with Tyler’s father.

However, although he was there initially, he soon proved incapable of providing the support she desperately needed.

“I thought this man was paying attention to me and sleeping with me, so maybe he loves me, but I was completely wrong,” she said.

The father’s drug addiction ultimately created an insurmountable obstacle to raising a family.

“I thought it was going to work because the dad was actually with me, and I thought he would be totally cool with it, but it turns out he’d rather be doing drugs and partying,” she declared.

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His father’s refusal to help made the situation worse.

“My dad didn’t support me. I called Maria, crying, telling her I couldn’t do this. I made another mistake,” Hannah explained.

Although heartbreaking, Maria came to the rescue again, helping the mother find a couple who could give Tyler the life he deserved, at just a few months old.

To date, Hannah has not heard from either child and is unsure if they kept Adriana and Tyler as their first names.

“I don’t even think they know about me,” she said, noting that she only received one photo of Adriana through Maria.

The emotional toll of placing her two children up for adoption still troubles her.

I hope and pray that one day my children will try to come find me.

Hannah Martin

“It was very hard. I was going through a bad time when this happened because I was suffering from depression. When the sadness and everything hits me, I’m pretty stuck,” she explained.

Despite the heartbreak, Hannah remains convinced she made the right choice for her children.

“If I had to change everything, I would have kept them, but I was in difficulty, very young, and I had no help,” she says.

“I had nothing. I didn’t know how to get housing, food stamps or anything that would have helped me and my children at the time.”

Her three other children had relatively normal childhoods.

His first son Joshua was born in 2009. His other daughter Brooke was born in 2016. Two years later, a third son named Brandon Jr. was born.

Hannah notes that Brooke and Brandon Jr.’s father is supportive of them and that she had more means to support Joshua during his childhood because she worked as an assistant manager at McDonald’s.

She has now gained a deeper understanding of the importance of support and stability for her children, she said.

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“I do this on my own. I’m really grateful to have my children,” she says.

Reflecting on Adriana and Tyler, she expresses her desire to reconnect.

“I tried to look for the people who adopted them, but with no luck. I just want to see a picture of them. That’s all I wanted,” she said.

“I hope and pray one day that my kids will try to come find me,” Hannah says.

“They are going to have to know the truth one day or another.

“If they try to go to the doctor and find out the family history, well, guess what? They’re going to have to come and ask me things.”

Her message to those considering adoption is clear: “There’s always a question of if.

“Giving a child to someone who can’t have children. It’s the greatest gift there is.”

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