THE vacation are upon us, and that means hosts and guests will be stressed about basic things like who’s cooking and what guests should bring. But if you’re someone who has dietary restrictions — whether it’s being vegan, being lactose intolerant, being kosher, or having food allergies — how do you handle the holidays? What is and is not acceptable etiquette? Luckily, several food bloggers and food writers have the answers.

“As someone who plans a lot of menus and hosts a lot of dinner parties, I view this as an affirmation of friendship and support to accommodate and celebrate my guests’ dietary restrictions,” said Brian Theis, author of the book. “The infinite feast: how to welcome those you love.» “I even consider this an inspiration and a challenge. »

Hosts should inform guests that they must share any dietary restrictions before the event, and guests should feel comfortable doing so.

“I’m a vegan food blogger and the holidays are always an interesting time,” said Diana Edelman, founder of the blog. Vegans, baby. “As a vegan for almost a decade and a vegetarian for even longer, I always let the host know in advance that I’m vegan and offer to bring something.”

The same goes for the host. “For dishes that the host won’t be able to make vegan, for example, it would be nice to let the vegans know in advance,” said Jem Mantiri, a vegan and lactose-intolerant food blogger behind The Fruity Jem. “This way, guests with dietary restrictions can plan accordingly. Or they might even offer to bring their own version of this dish to share, making your job as host a little easier. On the day, please also let your guests know which dishes contain allergens so everyone stays safe.

“By fostering open communication and understanding between hosts and guests, everyone can enjoy the holiday season, regardless of dietary restrictions,” explained Sheila Walker-Carroll of Graceful living, health and well-beingan online coaching service. “It is important to create an atmosphere of inclusion, ensuring that all guests feel welcome and accommodated.”

“It is not rude to bring your own food, as long as it is handled appropriately, such as asking the host first and preparing a dish that others can also enjoy,” she said. declared Olivia Wyleswho has a keto diet blog called Easy Keto Recipes Made For Real Life. “It’s also important not to draw attention to yourself. Talk about the event, not your diet.

Mantiri also agreed that it was fine for a guest to bring their own food as long as they let the host know their plan. “Bringing your own food and sharing it with others often sparks curiosity and creates conversation about these dietary restrictions and lifestyle choices,” she said.

Jeanine Donofrio, founder of the culinary blog Love and lemons and author of three cookbookshas years of hosting experience. “I always encourage guests to bring a dish to share,” she told HuffPost. “Of course, someone can eat ahead of time if they want to, and if that’s best for them, I understand. But as a host, I like to offer something for every guest, regardless of dietary restrictions. No one should feel pressured to eat first.

However, not everyone agrees with that, including the Bloomington, Indiana-based food columnist. Lynn Schwartzberg. “Bringing food to someone’s house is not a good idea,” she said. “If allergies or illness are so severe that bringing their own food is the only solution, that person should eat in advance and simply enjoy the social event, perhaps snacking on something that fits their restrictions .”

According to Schwartzberg, there’s a difference between someone who has dietary restrictions and someone who doesn’t like certain foods. “Most cooks respond well to the idea of ​​adapting to a real dietary restriction,” she said. “Sometimes a guest may share a personal dislike. I wouldn’t feel obligated to agree to that. Adults can just grow up.

Theis once found himself facing a series of restrictions during a weekend guest group. “We had two vegans, one gluten intolerant and one person who could only eat completely simple proteins and vegetables, no soy, legumes or pretty much any other seasonings,” he said. “I prepared a vegan spread for the whole group and special options for guests intolerant to seasonings, of course omitting as much gluten as possible.”

But don’t be afraid to ask a grocery store or restaurant for help in preparing meals. “If you have trouble cooking for each of your guests, you can outsource some of the work as long as the institution you are ordering from can guarantee the items are allergen-free as needed,” Donofrio said .

“In my opinion, if the host is aware of certain food allergies or dietary restrictions before the gathering, I think they should have at least one dish that can accommodate those restrictions,” said Gabrielle Lask, a food blogger who posts on Instagram. and TikTok like Kiko_Eatz. “A salad is always a safe and easy choice. But I don’t think the host should be forced to modify all dishes to suit one person’s needs, because that’s not fair to the host, especially if the restrictions are chosen by themselves, like be vegan.

“I have found that creating a unique menu rather than preparing something special for just one person is the easiest and most hospitable way to go,” Schwartzberg said. “For example, my partner’s son’s girlfriend avoids alliums (garlic, onions, shallots and chives) and is also vegetarian. When they dine at our house, I create the entire vegetarian menu without using allium. This way the “problem” guest does not feel left out with special dishes and everyone enjoys the menu without any announcements regarding accommodation.

Demotion Blogger and cookbook author Lisa Bryan has had several autoimmune issues. She found that cooking whole foods not only made her healthier, but it was also the best way to approach the holidays. She serves proteins like turkey, prime rib and roasted vegetables. “I do not serve processed or packaged food ingredients, and I prioritize the preparation of all ingredients. dressings and sauces from scratch, as these can sneak in allergens,” she said. “In short: limit foods with ingredient labels and prepare more food from scratch.”

We’re all stressed about preparing meals during the holidays and want to appease our loved ones. Despite dietary restrictions, the act of coming together should be emphasized.

“In everything you do, do it with a respectful attitude, without thinking that your lifestyle is superior to that of others,” Mantiri said. “The holidays are a time when people often reconnect with loved ones, so it’s definitely important to do things with kindness in mind. Share things you’re passionate about, but don’t force things on others.

“The most important thing is the company and memories made on vacation,” Bryan said. “The tasty food is just a bonus.”