This holiday season, nearly half of those surveyed in a recent investigation say they are considering skipping family gatherings altogether. The reason? A strong desire to avoid political arguments.

With emotions running high and political discourse dominating every corner of life, it’s no surprise that many are hesitant to jump into potentially tense gatherings. Psychotherapist Robi Ludwig goes so far as to call politics a “new religion,” due to its ability to polarize conversations.

However, some public figures have decided to distance themselves from people with whom they disagree. Yale psychiatrist Dr. Amanda Calhoun, for example, told MSNBC it’s okay to cut ties with family members who voted differently, while actress Christina Applegate encouraged his 1.5 million followers on to no longer follow her if they did not agree with her political position.

But is walking away the best response? Experts say no and suggest a more nuanced approach like informed disagreement—a communication strategy that emphasizes curiosity, respect, and meaningful dialogue, even when you fundamentally disagree.

What is informed disagreement?

Consider informed disagreement the antidote to the all-or-nothing thinking that dominates so many of today’s political conversations. Informed disagreement is about creating space for diverse perspectives and engaging in respectful and meaningful conversations, rather than avoiding difficult topics altogether.

“Any healthy group, organization or society requires disagreement,” Nour Kteily said in a press release announcing the launch of the Center for Informed Disagreement, of which Kteily is co-chair. “Too often, however, we lose ourselves in the caricature and alienation of those who disagree with us, thereby rejecting the opportunity to learn and benefit from our differences in viewpoints. »

This is not about brushing conflicts under the rug or pretending that differences don’t exist. “Engaging in informed disagreement does not mean avoiding difficult conversations,” Dr. Jay Kumar, a brain and behavior expert, explained via email. “It’s about approaching them with curiosity and mutual respect.”

Tips for Navigating Difficult Political Conversations

If you’re preparing for holiday conflict, here are some expert tips to keep things constructive.

Avoid the “If you’re not with me, you’re against me” mentality

This mindset may seem justified in the moment, but it rarely leaves room for progress. Social psychologist Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh warns against this in her newsletterwriting that this binary thinking can “erode the foundations of any relationship.” Instead, remember that individual choices are often shaped by personal experiences. You don’t have to agree, but recognizing where someone is coming from can open the door to understanding.

Humanize the other person

Political opinions often seem black and white, making it easy to downplay the other person’s point of view,” Dr. Nasserzadeh explained in a recent interview. She advises focusing on the broader relationship. “You don’t have to agree – or even maintain the same proximity – but you don’t have to reduce them to their political beliefs,” she explains.

Manage your emotions

Conversations can get heated quickly, especially when politics come up. Dr. Nasserzadeh suggests techniques like deep breathing or taking a quick break if you’re feeling overwhelmed or triggered. The goal is to respond thoughtfully, not emotionally.

Focus on shared values

Even in the most divided families, there are usually commonalities to build on. “The heightened political tensions we experience today are deeply rooted in our brain’s survival instincts, which naturally gravitate toward ‘us versus them’ thinking,” says Dr. Kumar. Focusing on traditions, memories or shared values ​​can redirect attention to what unites rather than what divides.

Redirect the conversation

Sometimes the best solution is to steer the conversation away from politics altogether. Ludwig recommends preparing a simple and graceful redirect. For example: “I think we’ve done enough politics for now; what’s new with you? » A change of position at the right time can save everyone from unnecessary tension.

Know when to walk away

Despite your best efforts, some conversations just aren’t worth pursuing. If things get heated or unproductive, politely excuse yourself. A calm, polite exit is often more effective than staying in a conversation that goes nowhere.

In a culture that sometimes celebrates breaking ties with those who don’t fit in with us, it’s worth remembering that relationships don’t have to end because of disagreements. This season, try to lean toward connection instead of conflict and don’t let politics ruin your vacation.