Black tie, this essential marker of an increasingly rarefied ceremonial style, is inspiring. Nothing inspires men to up the sartorial ante like reading these words on an invitation. I say amen to raising the bar, but I can’t stand to wear a traditional bow tie – and I haven’t in over a decade.

At the turn of the millennium, I enthusiastically obeyed the dress code, but two unstoppable forces put me off: fashion moved on and I got older. Where respect for sacred traditions once seemed exalted, it suddenly began to seem restrictive and stifling. And while it was amazing to be a 30-year-old in a bow tie, in my 40s, the convention made me feel like a pompous, conservative square. NOW, men’s clothing has changed so much that bow ties are considered pedestrian attire better suited to waiters than partygoers.

Fortunately, there are several alternatives to black tie that excite and inspire me now that I’m well past fifty, many of which are being adopted by stylish men on the red carpet and innovative designers in London, Paris, Florence and Milan. And even though I could take a bow on nonconformity as I approach sixty, I still intend to avoid the bow tie, that ultimate symbol of gentlemanly customs, for as long as possible. Here’s what I replace it with.

Form and function

I was delighted to see Lemaire’s modernized thin metallic bolo ties at the house’s fall 2024 show. A favorite of men as varied as Johnny Cash, Bruce Springsteen and Snoop Dogg, the bolo is perhaps best known as the neckwear of choice for John Travolta’s surly hitman Vincent in pulp Fiction. Originally, Native American tribes, including the Zuni, Hopi, and Navajo, used these accessories to tie bandanas with braided leather cords. High-end versions also double as jewelry, with silver blades set with turquoise and often engraved with animal motifs, including buffalo skulls and eagles. Contemporary ideas abound, but vintage searches can reveal some particularly enticing options.

Gambling man

Varying in size, ruffle, and attitude, ribbon ties, also called player or Kentucky ties, have long been a legitimate alternative to black ties. Actor Cillian Murphy wore Saint-Laurent‘s participated in various award ceremonies, looking chic and authentically cool. They have a distinct Western energy – Kirk Douglas donned one as Doc Holliday in Shooting at the OK Corraljust like Robert Vaughan in The Magnificent Seven. But they’re as much rock stars as they are gunslingers: the late Johnny Thunders of the New York Dolls and Bauhaus frontman Peter Murphy (my style role models) also wore them with panache. Take inspiration from the runway and wear them with a pair of boots – cowboy, Chelsea or with a Cuban heel – to really break away from the standard.

Ready to attach

If you want to give yourself a bit of a break, consider scarves and scarves. This fall, Tom Ford offered a louche take on evening style, using black, finely braided or delicately sequined scarves, whose long tassels hang provocatively over the hips. For maximum effect, the brand paired them with open satin shirts, reminiscent of rockers Mick Jagger and Rod Stewart. that of London The Bowtique also makes beautiful oversized bows. On a smaller scale, the Twilly, a short silk scarf launched by Hermes-works pretty much the same way. The French House offers great options with angled ends for added verve, whether hung or tied more discreetly.