• Woman on Reddit seeks advice after learning the son she raised for two years was not biologically hers
• Her husband had an affair with their surrogate mother while they were trying to conceive, she said, and the son’s biological mother is the surrogate.
• She wants to give up her parental rights to the child for “a clean break and a fresh start,” but her family and friends disagree.

A woman on Reddit is seeking advice after learning that the son she has been raising for two years is not biologically hers – and that the child was actually conceived between her husband and their surrogate mother.

The mom recently shared in a job on Reddit, she and her husband of seven years had tried for four of those years to get pregnant to no avail. Despite medical intervention and several rounds of IVF, she ultimately discovered she could not have children.

“Devastated is an understatement for how I felt when I found out I had a health problem that would make it almost impossible to carry a baby to term,” the woman wrote. “It was even more upsetting when I had to undergo major surgery to remove uterine growths in hopes of increasing fertility, and complications that arose during the operation warranted a partial hysterectomy involving only the removal of my uterus.”

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With her ovaries still intact, she and her husband began looking for surrogates, even though cost was a significant barrier for them. Then a friend, who already had two children herself, offered to become their surrogate mother. A third round of IVF took place and the poster’s friend/surrogate mother gave birth to a baby boy for them.

The poster admits to seeing some of the first signs that the child might not be his. For starters, she and her husband both have blue eyes, while their son’s eyes are brown. Sometimes she would also come home to find her friend/surrogate already there, hanging out with her husband.

“I considered it harmless and it was good for her to get to know my husband better since she was hopefully carrying our child for us,” she wrote, adding that she did not never questioned her husband. “I was grateful to have someone who helped us have a child.”

She says she was the “main breadwinner” of the house and adds that much of her attention was devoted to covering the costs of surrogacy. It wasn’t until the child needed a blood test that she discovered something was wrong. Although the poster’s blood type is A+ and her husband’s blood type is O+, their child’s blood type is B+.

“I immediately began to worry that it was the fertility clinic’s fault, that they had made a mistake and implanted the wrong embryo,” she wrote. “I began arranging legal consultations to possibly sue the clinic and considered doing a DNA parentage test.”

Once the results showed that she was in fact not the mother of their child, although her husband was the father, she began taking legal action, she wrote. But it was then that her husband confessed to his affair.

“I was heartbroken and angrier than ever, I spoke to medical malpractice lawyers at the fertility clinic we had used,” the poster wrote. “Then my husband confessed that he had slept with my friend (our surrogate) several times during our struggle.”

“Bookish and absolutely broken at the same time doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel!!!! I had crying fits over and over about it,” the woman continues. “He claims he never thought a pregnancy could result because he had withdrawn and he always assumed that he was the reason for our previous difficulties conceiving, both before my hysterectomy and during the IVF insemination process with this friend.”

After taking some space for herself, the woman decided that not only was she going to file for divorce from her husband, but she also wanted to give up her parental rights to the son she had raised as her own , she said.

“I consulted with a divorce attorney about whether to relinquish my legal rights to this child so that I would not have to deal with such a betrayal or owe child support,” she wrote. However, this is where she wonders if she might be wrong.

Not only have her soon-to-be ex-husband and ex-friend/surrogate tried to convince her that she shouldn’t give up her parental rights, but some of her friends and family members also agree.

“I just want a clean break and a fresh start. I’m also considering moving several states away,” she writes, wondering if she’s wrong “to give up my parental rights in divorce because a child I paid a lot of money to have or born via surrogacy is not biologically mine at the time. all, except “surrogate mothers”?

Even though not everyone in the poster’s life is on her side, it seems the internet is definitely supportive of her decision to give up her parental rights.

“One of the things that amazes me is that you were working extra jobs to pay for the surrogacy, which I assume included her medical bills and financial support?” asks a commentator. “I would talk to a lawyer about suing her to get your money back. She knew that if she had sex, there was always a chance that the child would be biologically hers.

“I will absolutely tell you what I say to the men posting this. It would be wonderful if you loved the child enough to stay, but if (you’re) shocked and (too) damaged to do so, you’re not the a—— to walk away,” interjects another. .