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DEAR ABBY: I recently ended an 18 year marriage that should have ended several years earlier. As I decided to leave, I met the most wonderful man, “Winston”. He treats me like a queen – the opposite of my former husband.

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My old house was sold during divorce proceedings and I accepted Winston’s offer to move into an empty trailer on his property. We get along so well and I’m sorry we didn’t meet years ago and live together.

Winston is my best friend. He has been nothing but respectful since we met a year ago. We didn’t take our relationship to the next level until my divorce was final six weeks ago. I have been in the caravan for three months now and I am very happy. He lives next door in a house with his sister. Neither she nor he ever married.

We’ve already talked about marriage. He would like us to get married in about six months. I was thinking of getting engaged in six months, simply because I need time to breathe and I’ve been through a lot: moving, change of name, change of address, etc. This has now caused a rift in our relationship.

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I told Winston I wanted to get married, but I haven’t been divorced for two months yet. I need more time to adjust to such a different, more normal relationship. Previously he told me “no pressure” and he knows I need time, so I was a little stunned when he expressed his desire to GET MARRIED in six months.

I don’t think I’m being unreasonable, do you? What should my next step be? I want to live with him, but I’m just not ready anytime soon. — PAUSE TO BREATHE IN THE EAST

DEAR PAUSE: You have just gotten out of an unhappy marriage. You met Winston by chance. You need time to recover and establish who you are before committing to another marriage. You said that after you told Winston that you needed to take your time, it created a “rift.” That’s a big red flag, and it doesn’t bode well for what a marriage with him would be like.

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People are advised not to make any major decisions for a YEAR after a traumatic event. I agree. Get to know Winston AND HIS SISTER a little better before you head to the altar. I also advise you to find somewhere other than your caravan to live in order to learn to be independent again.

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DEAR ABBY: I’m a single girl without many friends. The friends I have, I hold tightly. One of them is now moving to another state. She said we would keep in touch and that I would see her again before she left, but she didn’t answer my calls or texts. She also didn’t talk to another friend. My mother says I should stop calling her and she will answer when she gets the chance. What should I do? — ALONE FRIEND IN VIRGINIA

DEAR FRIEND: Your mother is a wise woman. There may be several reasons why your friend has not responded to your efforts to contact them. She might be busy. She might be suffering from separation anxiety, just like you. Or she might feel suffocated and overwhelmed. Listen to your mother and take a step back.

— Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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