In an unexpected twist, an acquaintance from her old job asked him to check on her. Marcas tried to sketch the smallest details, but her friend quickly understood. “She welcomed me into her home for four months, helped me prepare for interviews and just listened to me, without once asking for payment or anything,” says Marcas. “I can never forget what she did. I’m still so overwhelmed that I thank her to this day.

Why should anyone go out of their way to help another? Often, it’s because they don’t want the other person to go through the same difficulties they once did.

Marcas’ friend, who prefers to remain anonymous, feels a little embarrassed by this deep gratitude. “I’ve been there before; being alone, without money. it’s a terrible place. She needed help and I couldn’t turn away.

His words “I couldn’t turn away” are rooted in a deep sense of empathy that often drives people to act altruistically, especially when they have experienced the same difficulties themselves. It comes from a deep understanding of the pain, fear or helplessness that others feel, says Elsie Baroque, a clinical psychologist based in Dubai. “Having experienced this themselves, they understand how important support is during these vulnerable times, and they feel a strong sense of duty to offer the same kindness they once needed or wished they had received. “

It is also linked to empathic concern. “When a person remembers their past difficulties, they are more likely to form an emotional connection with someone facing similar difficulties. This connection activates a strong desire to change the suffering of the other, not out of pity, but because they have experienced the same thing too,” she says.

For example, Tanushree Gupta, a housewife based in Abu Dhabi, remembers how her neighbor stepped in and helped pay the hospital bills, when her father suddenly fell ill and was in critical condition, and her husband was between jobs. Fearing that he would be in debt and that it would be an act of mercy, Gupta initially refused. “But then I saw that she was genuine and sincere. She had already lost most of her family members successively and was experiencing the trauma of this. I still remember her words: “I will take care of it” and she did. And that saved me, and I could also be more emotionally present for my father at the time,” Gupta recalls.

These words and actions cannot be quantified: they simply make people believe in others a little more, as Gupta and Marcas agree. This softens a hardened expectation: not everyone acts out of self-interest or a desire for reciprocity. Some people help simply because they can’t bear to see someone else suffer, Baroque explains. And there’s a ripple effect: These acts force people to also want to help others, as Gupta says. Every time she sees someone alone and in difficulty, she remembers the neighbor who pulled her out of poverty and wishes to show them the same generosity.

He said he’d rather help me because that’s what he was supposed to do. It’s the kindness of strangers that always attracts me…

-Mita Srinivasan, entrepreneur

These actions evoke deep emotions in others and can change their perception of the world, even if only slightly. For example, Mita Srinivasan, a Dubai-based businesswoman, remembers being stranded on a road with an overheated car and the kindness of an elderly Emirati man, who stopped and waited with her until his car service is over. “He said he’d rather help me because that’s what he was supposed to do. It’s the kindness of strangers that always attracts me.

As these different experiences show, going out of your way for someone can have many implications. It doesn’t even have to physically save their life or get them out of debt: it can be as simple as helping them breathe, through a panic attack, like what happened to Rhiannon Elizabeth, based in Dubai, who had to stop abruptly on the bus. road after learning that his mother had been hospitalized. “This stranger walked by and saw me standing in front of my car, just holding the phone. I wasn’t even crying, but I wasn’t breathing. He stopped, rushed towards me and kept repeating the words: “Breathe”. Breathe and offer me some water. I didn’t even get the chance to ask him his name or thank him; I only understood the importance of it later,” she says.

Sometimes just reminding someone to breathe in the worst possible situation is the best thing you can do for them.

For some, the motivation to help others goes beyond responding to crises. Rachel Moinak-Bastak, a Dutch entrepreneur based in Dubai, believes that helping is a core belief. I think we just need to give back to the world,” she says.

Professionally, I have benefited from the support of great mentors and have paid it forward by mentoring people in need of advice and support…

– Naheed Maalik, partner consultant at Loop, Dubai

For Bastak, that means going out of your way to help others – whether that’s offering financial assistance to former colleagues, connecting people with job opportunities, finding jobs in freelance or even buy medicine for a recently laid-off employee and stock their fridge with essentials. . Bastak does not hesitate to help, driven by the conviction that giving back is a fundamental way of contributing to the world. Similarly, Naheed Maalik, consultant partner at Loop, Dubai, has similar ideas: pay it forward with kindness. “This is a concept I have been practicing for years now. Professionally, I have benefited from the support of great mentors and have paid it forward by mentoring people in need of guidance and support,” says- She.

These small acts of kindness have the power to rebuild connections and restore trust, especially for those who view the world with skepticism. Such gestures can force even the most cautious individuals to pause and reconsider the belief that the world is dominated by selfishness, psychologists say.

There is a pervasive sense of distrust toward acts of kindness. Baroque explains: “Many people find it hard to believe that someone can actually do something for them without expecting something in return. They fear finding themselves burdened by an invisible debt. “They have done so much for me; how can I pay them back, even if the other person doesn’t ask for anything? This belief often stems from childhood conditioning, where we are taught that every good action must be reciprocated. Over time, this leads to deflecting or downplaying kindness.

Baroque adds a personal note: “I can understand this feeling myself. I find it embarrassing when someone goes out of their way for me. There is an instinctive unease, as if their generosity demands an equal response, even when none is asked.

However, it’s not just the fear of debt that complicates how kindness is received. Some people question the motivations for altruism, believing that it serves a more self-centered purpose. Adele Spencer, based in Dubai, prefers not to let others go to extremes for her: “I’m not sure it’s a completely selfless good deed. “I’m definitely grateful for the help I get, but I always feel like people are doing it to feel better about themselves,” she says, recalling how she saw several people praise for helping others, thereby diminishing their act.

Although psychologists recognize that many people help others feel better about themselves, there are important nuances to consider. This emotional boost is linked to “helping euphoria,” which explains the positive feelings that arise when individuals engage in acts of kindness. “It’s based on neuroscience,” says Satish Chandran, a neuropsychiatrist based in Dubai.

When we help others, our brains release feel-good chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins. Thus, acts of altruism improve the donor’s mood, reduce stress and even improve general well-being. Acknowledging criticism that this “reward” diminishes the sincerity of altruism, he adds: “The motivation to act kindly and the emotional benefits that flow from it are not mutually exclusive. A person may genuinely want to ease someone’s burden while still reaping the psychological benefits of their actions.

The euphoria of help does not necessarily mean a selfish act; it’s simply a natural reward mechanism that encourages kindness. “What is important is the intention behind the act. If the intention is sincere, then the positive feelings are just a bonus. »

This dual benefit, the emotional uplift of the donor and the tangible support of the recipient, helps maintain altruistic behavior. “Kindness becomes a ripple effect: one act inspires another, creating a cycle of giving that builds stronger connections,” adds Baroque.

However, bragging or gloating about acts of altruism can completely tarnish the gesture and amplify the feeling of indebtedness, says Chandran. “A truly selfless act of compassion is not something to flaunt, because it indicates that you did it for selfish validation. What people remember is being there for someone, offering help without expecting anything in return. You don’t save someone so your status will be elevated; you do it because you really want to.