I’m 30 years old, reasonably attractive, and have a stable job earning VND12 million ($472) per month. My husband, who also has a stable job, earns less than me. We have been married for 10 years and live with four generations of his family, which leads to frequent conflict. However, I do not cling to grievances and quickly overcome disagreements.

My husband, on the other hand, pays close attention to family dynamics, tends to be patriarchal, and consistently heeds his parents’ advice. He never opposed it. He has suffered from a chronic illness since childhood, which made him fragile, but I always supported him and never complained.

Recently, living with my in-laws became more and more exhausting, pushing me to my stress limit. My husband and I considered moving to live on our own, looking for a peaceful environment to focus on raising our children. We proposed the idea of ​​building a small house near my in-laws’ house to maintain the proximity and convenience of family support. They rejected this idea, instead suggesting we rent a place or live independently on the second floor of their house, which we found impractical, so we chose to rent.

After securing a rental and just before signing the lease, we informed my in-laws of our decision to move the following month. They responded with disdain: “Do what you want.”

However, the next evening they I visited my parents’ house to express their grievancestelling me to leave permanently and not consider coming back. During this visit, my mother-in-law leveled unfounded criticism at me in front of my loved ones, berating me for my alleged lack of work ethic, even though I earn more than my husband. This prompted my relatives to call to inquire about the situation.

Faced with hostility from my in-laws, my husband gave up on the idea of ​​moving. I expressed my frustrations to him, but he sided with his parents, insisting that I comply because he is the head of the family. This made me so angry and discouraged that I considered divorce to escape the turmoil, but the thought of leaving my two children held me back. Our 12-year-old son is bright and active, while our youngest daughter has mild autism, diagnosed at age two. She can now form simple sentences, although her understanding remains limited. She was unable to start first grade this year, but with continued intervention, it is hoped she will be able to start next year.

Since his diagnosis, I have felt constant sadness, constantly worried about his future, because no one in my husband’s family is equipped to raise him. I work all day and spend my evenings teaching him, striving to give him a less difficult future.

Should I consider divorce?