DEAR ABBY: My close friend “Janine” complains about the horrible way her daughter talks to her and always brings up the past. Janine asked her daughter to forgive her for everything she did in her childhood that caused her grief. She has apologized hundreds of times, but her daughter doesn’t want to give up on her.

Janine’s counselor told her to stop allowing her daughter to treat her disrespectfully, so she stayed away with no contact. Now her daughter reached out to her saying she really wanted to have a relationship with her but they would have to agree to disagree because she wasn’t going to change and knew her mother wouldn’t change neither.

Janine discovered religion years ago and has changed. I told her that she needed to set boundaries for herself and not allow anyone to cross them. She doesn’t really know how to handle this situation and feels guilty about it all. What is your opinion on this? — FRIEND POULÉ IN VIRGINIA

DEAR FRIEND: Not knowing how violent your friend Janine may have been towards her daughter when she was young, I hesitate to offer an opinion. I do, however, think it would be in everyone’s best interest for Janine to accept the olive branch from her daughter ON THE CONDITION THAT THEY SCHEDULE SOME SESSIONS WITH JANINE’S ADVISOR TO MEDIATE. If they do, it might be more enlightening and less painful for both of them, and it might open a healthy line of communication.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.