Rev. Shannon Blosser sees how much his son loves church: the music, the singing, the fellowship. But the United Methodist pastor said his family hasn’t always felt like 11-year-old Noah, who is autisticwas welcome.

At one point, Blosser’s wife and the couple’s two sons stopped attending in-person services at a church where he served. “If we felt more supported, we probably would have succeeded. »

Many people with disabilities, advocates and families want more religious congregations to know there are ways to accommodate and include people with intellectual and developmental disabilities this holiday season – and throughout the year – and to fully welcome them and their families.

“They just have to be willing to be the church that sees the image of God in every child and every adult,” said Blosser, who now serves two small West Virginia congregations that have supported his family’s needs.

Mount Olivet United Methodist Church, one of the congregations, is hosting a “Quiet Christmas,” a sensory celebration and worship, where music will come from a guitar rather than a piano, and candles will be replaced by glow sticks to avoid any danger. There are fidget toys and a “visual timeline” to help those who need pictures and graphics better process the sequence of events.

Dov Marcus, left, kisses the knotted fringes – known as tzitzit – of his prayer shawl after wrapping the leather strips of tefillin and praying with his uncle, Chaim Orlan, in Teaneck, New Jersey, on Friday the 20th. December 2024. (AP Photo/Luis Andrés Henao)

Photo: ASSOCIATED PRESS/Luis Andres Henao

Blosser’s message to the participants? Be you.

“Families like mine who feel overwhelmed by the lights, cameras and glitz of Christmas Eve can come in and be themselves,” he said. “If you need to run and do laps,…do it. It’s a place where you can be yourself so you can experience God’s love.

He hopes this could be the start of something more regular, like a quarterly or monthly service.

Linda Bunk, who was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, the former name for a form of autism, said it was important to work not only to make churches more accessible, but also to foster belonging. .

For example, ask a person with Down syndrome if they would like to be part of the hospitality team or if they sing or play guitar, suggested Bunk, who is a photographer and has participated in Christian mission trips, including to Ukraine.

“Let them serve according to their abilities,” she said. “God has blessed them with all kinds of talents and if we don’t ask them or welcome them, we will never know what they can do.”

Bunk, who suffers from bipolar disorder and lives in Virginia, said she especially enjoys seeing people with disabilities praying with the entire congregation rather than separately.

“Why can’t we have it all together…and have fun, dance, sing, eat,” she said. “It breaks down the barriers of ‘disabilities are scary.’ »

Blosser said people with disabilities need to be involved in inclusion planning to offer advice and point out mistakes.

He also encourages congregations to follow the Golden Rule. “What would you like to do?” he said. “For most of us, we would like to understand; we would like compassion.

Joining an Inclusive Hanukkah Service

In Teaneck, New Jersey, Congregation Rinat Yisrael Hosts Inclusive Meeting Hanukkah service later this month. The synagogue’s Hanukkah minyan, the quorum of at least 10 men needed for public worship, will include Dov Marcus, an autistic congregant, who will recite blessings over the Torah.

“The idea is not to give him his one opportunity a year to be called to the Torah for blessings,” said Stephen Glicksman, a synagogue member and director of innovation for the Makor Care & Services Network, which supports people with intellectual and developmental challenges. people with disabilities and their families and co-sponsors the service. “It’s for people to see that he is capable of being called up…and then being put on the list like all the others who will be periodically called up to receive this honor.”

Organizers said the service aims to give everyone an opportunity to pray in a welcoming, accessible and sensory atmosphere that transcends the holiday.

Marcus attends synagogue every week, and Glicksman says he often smiles, claps and hums during the service. However, most members of the congregation have never heard him because he rarely speaks outside his home, Glicksman said.

“I think the people who are there are going to be very surprised that he has this ability.”

Inclusion, Glicksman said, should not be viewed as an event or activity, but rather a state of mind.

Marcus, who was diagnosed with autism at age 2, said receiving the honor of reciting blessings “makes me happy because I feel closer to Hashem,” using a Hebrew word for God.

His parents became aware of his sensitivity to sounds the first time they took him to synagogue. During the Jewish holiday of Purim, he was overwhelmed by the noise of the congregation. This also happened when he heard the shofar – a ceremonial ram’s horn, blown on Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.

However, growing up, he always felt connected to Judaism and would wrap the leather straps of tefillin and pray with his grandfather, a Holocaust survivor.

“He loves Jewish music, Jewish service. That’s where he shines,” said his mother, Debbie Marcus, adding that his favorite time is going to synagogue.

At his Bar Mitzvah, she remembers how he recited blessings from the Torah, making many in the congregation cry with joy.

“Seeing Dovie light up the room and be included and respected as he is and honored – that’s the highlight of the Hanukkah holiday.”

Make places of worship more hospitable

David Mandell, professor of psychiatry and director of the Penn Center for Mental Health at the University of Pennsylvania, urged leaders to make their houses of worship hospitable from the moment members walk through the door, including considering how the receptionists are trained. The message that everyone is welcome, he said, should also come from the pulpit.

Other things to consider, he said: Is there a quiet, sensory room that families can go to when needed while following the service remotely? Who in the congregation can volunteer to meet the needs of families?

Many families “will not return regularly for the major holidays, Christmas, Easter or Eid if they feel their child is not welcome”, he said.

Difficulties are not uncommon at religious schools, said Mandell, who has worked with his synagogue to train teachers there.

In Wisconsin, Kathleen Krueger said going to church with her daughter, who has cognitive disabilities and autism, was sometimes very difficult, especially when she was younger. When her daughter had a seizure, people would stare at her, she said.

That would leave Krueger “very, very sad” for his daughter and “also bad for us because no one wants to stand out in a negative way.”

The family continued to attend services, but realized that other families with disabilities did not.

Krueger led an effort to start a special needs ministry at Mount Zion Lutheran Church, now part of New Life Lutheran Church in Kenosha. It started with holidays and other special events; Monthly Bible classes were later added.

Recently, the ministry held a Christmas celebration that included activities such as cookie decorating, crafts, music, a puppet show and a brief service. Krueger wanted participants to truly appreciate and “feel the love of Jesus.” Participants celebrated the 20th anniversary of the ministry.

Krueger recommends that religious leaders ask people with disabilities and their families how they can better serve them.

As a mother, she said, she appreciated members asking her about her daughter’s challenges rather than being afraid to start a conversation.

“Everyone appreciates a friendly, loving face to greet them. »

___

Associated Press religion coverage receives AP support collaboration with The Conversation US, with funding from Lilly Endowment Inc. The AP is solely responsible for this content.

Copyright 2024 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without permission.