I was brought to tears by my boss once in my life. I was 21, inexperienced and a little naive – just like a 21 year old should be, right?

Unfortunately, I also had the misfortune of encountering an aggressive bully. This experience taught me a lot about the types of people and bosses to avoid.

Personalities that are difficult to be around

I’m sure you’ve also encountered a difficult person in your organization or in your life at some point. Do you know how to handle a difficult personality in a way that is both respectful and assertive?

I’ve put together a list of the most common difficult personality types you might encounter at work and how to deal with them. Keep in mind that when I talk about difficult people, I’m really talking about the difficult behavior people exhibit.

1. The aggressive type

The main characteristic of the aggressive type is quite easy to spot immediately. These people often behave in an intimidating manner and use direct or harsh language, combined with a loud voice, with which they try to push you to do what they want.

They will often openly blame and criticize others and you will quickly notice that they enjoy pushing your limits. At the root is often anger and frustration, an inability to manage one’s own emotions and a feeling of being attacked.

How to deal with the aggressive type?

Depending on the situation you find yourself in, ensure your safety first. Once this is taken care of, the key here is to remain calm while clearly protecting your own boundaries and showing when these have been crossed.

By remaining calm and controlling your (negative) emotions, you have a chance to defuse the situation. Once emotions have calmed down, it’s important to have a conversation about whether your boundaries have been crossed.

2. The passive-aggressive type

The main characteristic of this behavior is that the person expresses their negative feelings and thoughts indirectly. These are often masked with a smile and a joke (sarcasm), which can make it difficult to react in the moment.

Imagine you are late for a meeting and your colleague makes the following comment with a big smile: “Oh, look who decided to grace us with their presence! Should we do it again just for you?” The subtext of this comment is that they are annoyed that you are late, but instead of communicating it in an “adult” way, they will use sarcasm to avoid direct confrontation. At the root of this behavior are conflict avoidance, lack of self-confidence and poor communication skills.

How to deal with this type of behavior?

Just like the aggressive type, it’s important to remain calm while showing them that your boundaries have been crossed. Remember not to use the same weapon against them, so remain respectful but firm. Use “I” statements instead of “you.”

For example, you could respond to the comment above with: “I understand that my delay caused frustration, and I I’m sorry for be late. At the same time, I would prefer that we discuss these concerns directly rather than through comments like this, so that we can maintain a respectful and constructive conversation.»

3. The type of complainant

Don’t we all know the complainant? The one who is never satisfied and complains about everything and everyone, but never seems to take action to make things better. We can easily spot this behavior when people focus only on the negative aspects, even in the most positive situations.

The fact that they feel ignored, invisible and unappreciated is often at the root of this behavior, and they choose to get attention by complaining. They may also feel helpless, overwhelmed, or stressed.

How to deal with this type of behavior?

Start by empathizing and acknowledging their feelings rather than dismissing them or joining the “bashing party.” Once the feelings are acknowledged, you can move on to finding solutions. Remember to use positive language.

Imagine that a member of your team starts complaining about the workload they have. You could say something like: “It seems that you are feeling overwhelmed by the tasks assigned to you. Let’s take a moment to look at your workload and see if there’s a way to balance things better. »

4. The type of loan taker

He is the one who will do the least work, but who will try to take the most credit for the work that others have done. They will try to undermine or neglect the teams’ efforts and put all the spotlight on them.

There can be a variety of causes for this behavior, often starting with a lack of integrity, a lack of responsibility, feeling insecure about themselves, and a constant need for external validation.

How to deal with this type of behavior?

If you have noticed that this is not a one-time event but a pattern of behavior, there are several things you need to do:

• Keep Communication Based on Facts
• Make sure to keep track of interactions
• Keep detailed records of your work and achievements
• Share progress updates with your team and supervisors

This makes it harder for them to take credit for your work. At the same time, it is also important to have a one-on-one conversation with the loan taker. They need to know that their behavior does not go unnoticed. Remember to remain calm and professional, prepare specific examples, and express your feelings and the impact of their actions on you and the team.

You could say something like “In the last meeting, I noticed that the credit for the project plan was given only to you, even though We developed it together. I feel undervalued when my contributions aren’t recognized, and I think it can also discourage the team from putting in extra effort. In the future, I would appreciate it if we could ensure that all team members who contributed are appropriately recognized.»

Key takeaways

There are certainly many more challenging types of behavior, but no matter who you’re dealing with, keep the following points in mind:

• Stay calm and professional (you control your behavior, not them).
• Respect the other person and actively listen to discern what they are like not say and what their real needs are.
• Set clear boundaries, communicate them, and stick to them. Just because you are respectful and professional does not mean you will allow others to push you around.

Now I’m curious: what type of behavior do you find most difficult? How do you deal with this? Share in the comments below.