You’ve probably felt an uneasy feeling in the air lately. Perhaps you’ve noticed that people don’t get along as easily at work as they used to, and that makes you nervous about speaking openly with your coworkers. Maybe the atmosphere at work doesn’t seem right – instead of easy chit-chat, chatting on Zoom before meetings seems heavy these days and there’s a fear of offending someone. Or maybe your evening walks around the neighborhood have started to feel tense with signs advertising different political candidates appearing on every second lawn.

With politics at the forefront of our minds, wars raging, the economy slowing, layoffs everywhere and the surgeon general issuing a warning on the health and well-being of American parentsThere are countless reasons why people feel overwhelmed and tense. And when tensions rise, it’s easy for our differences to turn into polarizing conflicts.

Conflict is an inevitable and natural part of being human, and it is inevitable. But disagreements and conflicts don’t have to be polarizing, and they don’t have to be heavy-handed. About 25 years ago, the concept of psychological safety emerged and helped us understand more clearly our role as leaders in the workplace: not to prevent conflict from happening, but rather to create safe spaces where people can speak up, openly disagree, express concerns, and take risks without fear of negative repercussions. But in recent years we have become afraid of conflict again. We have forgotten that disagreements can be productive and have gone too far into thinking that work should be a place where no one ever feels uncomfortable.

To properly address conflict and resolve differences rather than polarizing ourselves further toward the extremes, we must face them head on. If you’re ready to rethink conflict, here are 5 concrete steps you can take to combat polarization and build connections:

1. See beyond conflict using context

In a recent conversation with South African comedian and writer Trevor Noah, American author Adam Grant observed: “Conflict begins with misunderstanding, and misunderstanding comes from a lack of context. » One of the simplest and most effective things we can do to mitigate conflict is to provide context.

In his conversation with Grant, Noah pointed out that as Americans, we tend to like polarities. Our two-party political system places us on a mental path of seeing things in black and white, within an “either/or” paradigm. In the political context, a change as simple as thinking about individual policies rather than parties or politicians can instantly make a huge difference. In general, whenever we can shine a light on shades of gray, we prevent conflict from escalating and refocus our attention on the specific places where we can agree or agree to disagree.

At work, we can encourage our colleagues and teams to take a broad view of any disagreement, allowing them to see not only the points of conflict, but also areas of overlap. We can also encourage those around us to remember the wide range of factors that shape our perspectives. We all know that there are more layers to people than what we see on the surface, and that our own identities and those of our colleagues are intersectional. By keeping in mind that people are multifaceted and complex, we can also consider their individual perspectives in context.

1. Foster relationships

When we build relationships beyond and alongside areas of conflict, we can begin to let go of polarization. It may be that no matter how many shades of gray we enjoy, there are still times when disagreements can become overwhelming. In these cases, it may be helpful to step away from the conflict altogether. For example, we may clash with a colleague over politics, but find that our shared love of nature still allows us to bond when we put aside areas of disagreement. We may struggle to accept an aspect of someone’s identity, while still being able to identify with them as a parent, a Minnesotan, or a football fan.

In social sciences, the “contact hypothesis” suggests that getting to know each other in groups over time and exchanging ideas with peers can help reduce bias. By creating opportunities for respectful exchange and community in the workplace, we can help our teams foster relationships that prevent conflicts from becoming vitriolic and polarizing.

1. Don’t overestimate the differences

Countless studies have highlighted our tendency to overestimate our extremes and differences, with negative consequences. For example, a Study 2021 found that when someone from one political party was asked what they thought of a member of the other party, their response was negative. But it turned out that when answering the questions, respondents imagined members of the other party as intensely partisan with extreme rather than moderate views. When participants were told that the opposing party’s MP was actually a moderate and not politically inclined, their response to the same question was neutral.

It’s so easy to assume that we are more polarized than we really are and to exaggerate our perceived differences. When we encourage our teams to remember that we are not as extreme as we might think, it becomes much easier to find common ground.

1. Practice perspective taking

This won’t be the first time you’ve heard the advice to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. But it turns out it’s a very good suggestion. Recent psychology research found that a very brief exchange sharing a trans person’s perspective and experience on a range of issues was sufficient to shift participants’ support for issues faced by transgender minorities.

When we encourage our teams to embrace new perspectives and consider the experiences of others, we help develop a critical skill that directly combats polarization: curiosity. When we adopt an approach of continually learning and asking questions, we are much less likely to find ourselves stuck in intractable conflict.

1. Model of good conflict resolution

Sometimes, regardless of our intentions, conflicts escalate at work and become polarizing. To prevent conflicts from becoming entrenched over long periods of time, it is important to resolve them well. The first, and sometimes most difficult, step is to choose to actively manage conflict rather than ignore it. To do this, it helps to adopt a collaborative mindset and practice active listening. By showing our colleagues that we intend to find solutions that work for everyone and that everyone’s voice will be heard, we can help our teams feel confident that their experience matters.

When leaders model good conflict resolution, it tends to have a powerful ripple effect within organizations. It’s hard to continue to feel polarized and angry when we know someone is listening attentively.

There is no doubt that we are experiencing intense and difficult times at work and beyond. But polarization is far from inevitable. Building relationships, remembering context when it matters most, adopting new perspectives, and resisting the temptation to overestimate our differences can help ease tension when we need it most.