Updated: 18 a few minutes ago Published: 7 hours ago

Dear Eric: My husband of six months and I do just about everything together. I recommended that we watch a Netflix series together, and we both became deeply engrossed.

The other night I was tired from my work day and he suggested I go to bed early. He mentioned finishing the last episode, since it had just started. I said that sounded good. I woke up over two hours later to get a glass of water, and there he was, still standing, five episodes after where we left off.

In fact, he had finished every episode this season.

This particularly hurts me. I feel somehow cheated. When I tried to explain it, he apologized, but I still feel really hurt. It’s not so much the act of sitting down and watching a series, it’s more the fact that we had a shared experience together and somehow it seems wasted. One of the reasons this period was important to me is that he always emphasized that “we do everything together” with pride.

Yet he says now that I’m petty and making too much of a deal and he even said that now he refuses to watch again. Can you help me understand what’s going on here?

– Disabled

Dear Listener: Many couples have found themselves in fights worthy of a Grey’s Anatomy subplot because of what I call “streaming cheating.” This is where, as happened to you, one person slips into the queue without the other. It’s an epidemic.

And part of that is because these streaming services are set up with the express purpose of getting us to keep watching. It’s in the way episodes start one after the other and even the way some series always end on breathtaking cliffhangers. Your husband should have respected the agreement you made, yes, but we are all at the mercy of the algorithm sometimes.

For the sake of your young marriage, chalk this up to a modern hiccup, rather than a sign of deeper trust issues. And have a conversation where you and your husband can clarify things, so that the plans you make for future activities don’t keep bringing up this one thing. I hope you continue to enjoy doing everything together, even if that “everything” sometimes means one of you rewatching an episode or two that one of you has already seen.

• • •

Dear Eric: My brother-in-law lives in another state and we only see him once a year. He loves cooking and spends a lot of time and effort preparing good meals for us. The problem is that I can’t eat as much as he thinks.

My husband and I eat two meals a day. His brother cooks us three big meals a day. I’m a small person and I just can’t eat all this food, so I have small portions of everything. And he constantly complains that I eat little and that I shouldn’t eat more because I don’t like the food. The food is usually good and I always tell him that.

Because of this continuous harassment, I hate going there. The last time we were there he was so angry because I didn’t eat more food that he raised his voice to criticize me. I was stunned. I told my husband I would never go back, but his brother is his only living close relative and he thinks I should just forget what happened. I know if I go back he will do the same thing because he has been doing it for 10 years. My husband has never stood up to her because he doesn’t want to jeopardize their relationship.

– Getting fed up

Dear Fed up: Put your foot down and put your fork down. Your brother-in-law’s hospitality is a nice gesture that is completely ruined by his caustic behavior. How is someone supposed to enjoy their meal with someone yelling at them?

You are right to no longer want to subject yourself to that. Initially, it seemed like your brother-in-law was an overenthusiastic host who let his love of food and anxiety about getting it right get over the table. But this behavior ultimately seems more controlling than anything else.

Be clear with your husband that this is behavior you cannot tolerate. You don’t have to forget it. You don’t have to eat anything you don’t want to, including eating crow. If he absolutely wants to return, he can talk to his brother about the terrible reactions. It sounds like the relationship between the brothers is also unhealthy, so your husband might have a hard time fulfilling this request, but it’s important. Sure, you can put up with one awkward visit a year, but it goes beyond just grinning and bearing it.